UUHHH, WHAT?

"...they said I could sing like a jaybird/but nigga don't juse the j-word..."

--Ice Cube, "When Will They Shoot?," THE PREDATOR, 1992

No restrictions on Kelso, however. But somebody please explain to Kelso exactly why everything was relatively hunky-dory a week ago and now we're on the verge of World War III? A couple of Israeli soldiers get kidnapped by Hezbollah near the border and the response is this? That Israel and Lebanon, the two most advanced states in the Middle East, could fuck this up so badly means anything can happen at any time. Lebanon has gone from strength-to-strength economically and poltically since the cease-fire. They don't or can't get adaquate muscle to keep Hezbollah out? Why does Israel always demand 1000 teeth for a tooth? Wasn't this like a job for the famous Israel Special Forces?

And what of the Saudi Arabian portion of the USA-ISR-SA love triangle? They can't tell Hezbollah to sit down and shut up? Or is it just another oil thing for legs one and three of the love triangle and just another land and gore thing for leg two?

Whatever it is it's totally fucked. If Israel wants to conquer ALL of the Middle East, fucking let them, just let them leave ME and my city out of their politics. Kelso does not want to hear another word about any country defending "herself." It's bullshit. Hezbollah wants to drag Lebanon into a war it can't win and back into the middle-ages in the process? Fine, let it. Let's see how "modern" Lebanaon really is. But please leave Kelso out of it.

Kelso is a Jew (the J-word ha ha ha ha) but he's no Zionist, nor is he an Israeli. This is a fight he wants no part of and does not want to see expand.

And how exactly will Hillary Clinton and Russ Feingold feel when the US and Israel are stuck with a battle to conquer the entire Middle East? And how will the Bush dynasty feel? Because while they sure as shit have Israel's side politically, they have the other side equally strong economically.

The best advice Kelso can give politicians is: shut the fuck up and let the grown-ups handle it. Oh, yeah, there are no grown-ups, just generals moving paper dolls around on CNN, arms-dealers, religious zealots, 1000s of years of gripes, and the wholly inappropriate feeling among nouveau-riche and cracker American Jews alike that they are now somehow not Semitic but some smaller version of Anglo-Saxon.

Hell awaits.

Kelso's Nuts love you.