...AND LOVING IT

Headline means nothing, merely an homage to Maxwell Smart.

Here, though, are a few things that need to be said. A Jew who questions Israeli policy is not a "self-hating Jew." A Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, etc., who questions Israeli policy is not an "anti-Semite." A Muslim who questions Israeli policy is not a terrorist.

And back to the J-word. It was said by a Washington reporter on a WNYC talk show that Bill Clinton and Barbara Boxer are backing Lieberman for Senator against Ned Lamont because the Democratic party does not want to "lose its Jewish wing." [Prop. note: according to pollster Stanley Greenberg the Democratic share of Jewish voters is around 4% of the electorate.] To Clinton and Boxer's actions, Kelso could issue some really foul language, but will take the high road and pass. Kids, the Jews that vote Republican always vote Republican and the Jewish vote will always split about 70/30 Democratic no matter what happens. Gee whiz, fucking LAMONT is getting 50% plus or minus and he's the most goyish guy who's ever walked the planet. But he's a left-winger; Lieberman is a quisling to bush as the original Quisling was to the Nazis. That Clinton could back Lieberman after the hard beating Lieberman gave Clinton is not in Kelso's ken. That's for Wet Willie to figure out with HIS shrink. As for Barbara Boxer, it took a while but the true colors have now shown -- Green, off-Green, and Black as in U.S. folding money. Nice. Wait until he "undresses" (pun intentional) on the Senate floor over an abortion bill and his perceived deficiences in your personal practice of Judaism.

As for the Jews who are willing to toss in with the Christian Right because the latter is "good for Israel." Please just start mailing Kelso money now, because you are very, very stupit. The Christian Right hates us for (in no particular order) the intellectualism, the success, the literature, the money, the TV exposure, Hollywood, Wall Street, the dope, the fucking, psychiatry, and all of the rest of the stuff that makes it great to be Jewish. The Christian Right would like to see a massive war in the Middle East in which they take over the victorious state of Israel, make every Jew convert or die, and celebrate the rapture. Don't be fooled. How many of Israel's nuclear war-heads do you figure are aimed at the USA. It sure isn't a small number. Israel is wary of Arab states, but stone-cold scared of the USA.

This is too depressing to dwell on, so as a small act of rebellion, Kelso presents a link to a cool live version of Johnny Thunders and The Heartbreakers doing (he he) CHINESE ROCKS.

http://www.youtube.com/results?search=CHINESE+ROCKS&search_type=search_videos&search=Search

Say what you want about actual Chinese rocks, they sure simplify things.

KELSO'S NUTS DEFINITELY NEEDS MORE MUSIC. Thanks, AnitaXanaxNow, for the push in that direction.

Welcome back, Pedro. Three cheers and a standing ovation for John Maine. And let's root for The Scarlet Knight Of Moscow's 4-year-old, TAKE THE BLUFF, in tomorrow's 3rd race at Saratoga.

Kelso's Nuts love you.