LIBBY GOING UP, INJUSTICE DEPT TO ITS USUAL TRICKS, SO...

...let's do sports.

More specifically, let's do steroids. The whole steroid issue is bullshit. Well, it's not bullshit in the sense that steroids didn't enhance players' performance. They did to be sure. Barry Bonds was hardly the worst offender, just the prime target because of his prominence and crankiness. When Bonds was thin, he was 3-4 wins per season better than the next best NL LF, Ron Gant. Kelso would recommend examining the careers of Giuliani Girl Carl Pavano and tennis's Williams sisters if anyone is interested in truly dedicated steroid abuse. That's right, Venus and Serena Williams became the WTA's #1 and #2 players without any formal training, and when the Balco business broke, what happened? Neither could lift a racquet. As for Pavano, go to baseball-reference.com.

Steroids are an issue only because of America's love/hate relationship with self-medication. Partnership For A Drug Free America and all that crap.

There are at present two more effective ways to cheat than steroids that are perfectly legal and well within the rules of baseball as well as the nation's laws and carry no risk of side-effects: for pitchers, Tommy John surgery, for hitters, Lasik + Special Contact Lenses. Think about what Tommy John surgery is for a second. It is the replacement of a pitcher's most significant ligament with a brand new one. In other words, by having Tommy John surgery a pitcher is erasing a lifetime abuse of his elbow. Same pitcher, same delivery, absolutely virginal elbow ligament. Lasik surgery plus contact lenses give hitters not only perfect eyesight but also a sense of color that Francis Bacon couldn't match. After the procedure and insertion of the lenses, the red of the laces of the ball appear vividly to hitters in a way no amateur could even envision. The gossip is that another Giuliani Girl, Bernie Williams, was the pioneer, but Oriole 2B has taken it to a higher level.

Cheating. Twas ever thus.

Over here at the Nuts, Mets fanatics though we are, we still like Florida for the division crown despite loss of Josh Johnson. Is there a rotation in the division that matches up with Willis-Olsen-Sanchez-Nolasco? Certainly not Glavine-Park-Maine-Pelfrey, as sad as it makes us admit. Mets' hitting still rocks top-to-bottom, but replacement of Floyd with Moises Alou is a velly, velly bad mistake in that Alou is now an extremely minus player and he blocks advancement of Milledge and Ben Johnson. In Cabrera, Hermida, Willingham, Uggla, Jacobs, and Ramirez, Marlins have more than enough hitting.

In World Cup of Cricket, we like Nathan Bracken (AUS) for top bowler and the two favorites, Australia and South Africa look priced about right. Sri Lanka has some value, and there may be some value in fading England, India and Pakistan.

NCAA championship can go to hell. Kelso's rooting for UCLA and that's about it.

Finally, let's do a tiny bit of politics. Why is everyone taking such pleasure in the idea of Libby being in sexual bondage in prison? The fight is for reform of the prison system not for tit-for-tat because a rich man's going up. If you can't understand that, then you have no soul.

Kelso's Nuts love you.