WEAK BECOME HEROES

U.S. Representatives Barney Frank (D-MA), Shelley Berkely (D-NV) and John Porter (R-NV) are considering introducing legislation to repeal the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act of 2006.

Here's a little reading. Make of it what you will, but note well that very, very few federal criminal laws have come OFF the books through the legislative process. Kelso can think of only three: The Volstead Act (prohibition), The Mann Act (something about minors and sex) and The McCarran-Walter Act (something about immigration and country of origin). If Frank, Berkeley and Porter's "study" leads to legislation, Bush will certainly veto it will no possibility of being over-ridden. So, they are probably whistling in the dark, but at least somebody's making some noise about it other than the Poker Players' Alliance.

http://www.cardplayer.com/poker_law/article/1952?page=2

http://www.gambling911.com/Online-Poker-George-Bush-031807.html

The shake-out from all this is that the Frank, Berkeley & Porter project (that's all it is now, and there has been no mention of anything like it in the Senate) will put Hillary Clinton, Barrack Obama, Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney and John McCrazy's views on gambling into sharp focus. This is a good thing. It sez here that Hillary will duck it, mumbling something about adults and children. The remainder including Barrack "Church Lady" Obama, will be against repeal, and McCrazy will again find himself embarrassed, his dice jones now public info (u read it here first, nieces & nephews) and some more light will show on McCrazy's own NCAA quasi-bookmaking web site. Rove and Bush were absolutely right about McCrazy in their ads pre-South Carolina in 2000. Mr. Straight-Talk is most definitely "Toys-In-The-Attic" personified -- none too bright and nuts, besides. And, while Kelso is no expert on cognitive function or sanity, the etiology probably starts and ends with the confinement.

As far as Bush is concerned, the UIGEA is an unmitigated success, the only pure success of his administration. Gambling for the most part is now illegal in the United States and Israel and as with the "surge", Bush will surely push this one to the utmost, probably with changes to Federal Sentencing Guidlines including such things as Slow-Playing Pocket Aces calling for a minimum of 6 months in Abu Ghraib, and laying -$1.50 with the Padres and Peavy at home over the Dodgers and Lowe punishable by not less than 5 years in a Federal Medium Security Facility. Some more you heard it here first stuff: expect an upcoming case involving a jockey named Rene Douglas to end the UIGEA's horse-racing exclusion. Just guessing here but the Christian Crazies will probably get the Fantasy Sports exclusion lifted, too. Or maybe we all get lucky and the U.S. Attorney fiasco will make the Bush administration a little shy about more criminal sanction now that they know they no longer have every right-wing U.S. Attorney on a leash. Yeah, sure.

As for that little tits-up, the VA medical mess, Libby and the possibility of some very weird conspiracy involving Silvio Berlusconi, Nancy Pelosi has proven once again something that Kelso has heard over and over again from Bay Area friends. In Northern California races, the vote splits about 45/45 between the Centrist (folks like Pelosi, Feinstein, and Newsome) and the Left-Winger (the gay green who almost beat Newsome for mayor of S.F.) and the 10% of the electorate who vote Republican control things - a bit like the Lieberman-Lamont race for Senate - and that handful of Republicans go for the Centrist. In other words, Jello Biafra ain't going to be a U.S. Rep anytime soon. Oakland is, of course, an exception in the "meanwhile in the black part of the city..." sense, but as gentrification and "broken windows" policing take hold there, too, San Francisco political results may begin to obtain in Oakland as well. What does all of this crap mean? To Kelso it means that Billy Bragg got it right about all politics being about "old men grinding axes." And it's always about what "wise men" of the Gergen, Maureen Dowd level think. You, nieces and nephews, don't count.

So, for Kelso, this U.S. Attorney stuff is a bit abstract. Not so, the UIGEA. In that spirit, Kelso presents his first 2007 Fantasy Baseball team (structure: upper-medium stakes --$800 per team, real money, Christian Crazies, put that in your pipe and smoke it! -- draft style, 17 teams, 5x5 scoring):

C - A.J. Pierzynski (CHW)
1B - Prince Fielder (MIL)
2B - Aaron Hill (TOR)
SS - Khalil Greene (SD)
3B - Troy Glaus (TOR)
MI - Kelly Johnson (ATL)
CI - Melvin Mora (BAL)
OF - Carlos Beltran (METS)
OF - Adam Dunn (CIN)
OF - Luke Scott (HOU)
OF - Randy Winn (SF)
OF - Cliff Floyd (CHC)

SP- Dontrelle Willis (FLA)
SP- Dan Haren (OAK)
SP- Dave Bush (MIL)
SP- Chuck James (ATL)
SP- Joe Kennedy (OAK)
RP- Francisco Rodriguez (LAAOA)
RP- Trevor Hoffman (SD)
RP- Armando Benitez (SF)

Extras: Dustin Pedroia-2B (BOS), Josh Johnson-SP (FLA), Andre Ethier-OF (LAD), Joe Saunders-SP/RP (LAAOA)

And the craziest shit ever from the World Cup of Cricket. Ireland knocked Pakistan out of tournament and Pakistan's manager, a South African loosely associated with banned-for-life SA cricketer, Hansie Cronje, was murdered in his hotel room. Ireland beating Pakistan at cricket is by the way a much bigger upset than Team USA beating Team USSR in the 198o Winter Olympics. Sri Lanka has knocked out India, so Kelso's futures bets of Michael Hussey (Australia) for Best Batsman and Nathan Bracken (Australia) for best bowler live on.

Kelso's Nuts love you.