"JUDEO-CHRISTIAN VALUES" PART II, THE C.U.F.I. VERSION

Go here first to see what this is all about.

[The disclaimer: Kelso's Jewish, Atheist, not an Israeli, was an Amercian. His views on Israel are a mixed bag: generally dovish on Palestinian question, believes in right of state of Israel to exist as any kind of state they wish but there's plenty of room to negotiate an agreement that could put billions of human beings' minds at ease. ]

http://politits.blogspot.com/

At the end of Part I, Kelso had briefly touched on the Devil's Bargain Israel has made with the Christian Right. Kelso laid out briefly the Israeli side of it but the link above gets to the American Christian (Joe Lieberman an official member of which) side of it. It's pretty clear once you get through "D-Cup's" material that both sides think they've got the other snowballed. Americans really only get the AIPAC, C.U.F.I., Joe Lieberman, Jersalem Post, Wolf Blitzer side of the story. Ha'aretz online tells a very different story. The majority of Israelis including many, many Likudniks, share the Kelso viewpoint. The citizens of Tel-Aviv and Haifa think about Jerusalem kind of the way the citizens of New York and Boston think about Houston. Those who get it, get it. We're going to leave the simile as is. Let's just say that the most dovish American Jewish politician outside maybe Rep. Frank or Sen. Sanders would fit snugly in the center of the Likud Party. Though Israel is a Jewish state, it is also a social democracy with a far greater proportion of Atheists than most countries, espcially the U.S.A. which -- without an official religion -- has maybe 4 or 5 Atheists all together. Maybe a couple of hundred counting Agnostics.

Israel, right now is laughing its collective ass of that these insane, racist, anti-semitic goyim are throwing money at Israel because of some silly superstions. The goyim and the effective goyim (AIPAC, Lieberman, etc.) think that they've got Israel crushed because of course Israel will do America's bidding, will fulfill fantastical Bible prophecies by bringing about the end of times and while the Christians and the Christian-Converts like Lieberman will rapture up to heaven, even the Jews, American, Israeli, Argentinian, whatever, who convert to Christianity will get -- ok, ok -- to heaven but will certainly be drinking at the Coloreds Only fountain. For a few billion stolen dollars, the latter cohort believes it's buying eternal life real, real cheap from Israel. And they are laughing their asses off.

If this is funny, and it kind of is, it is a very dark brand of humor indeed. It is very possible that Israel will get dependent on this money and be jammed up eventually having to do something really wretched like nuking Iran, killing 10 million Persian Jews in the process. Ultimately, this could, for financial reasons, set off a nuclear war in which an infuriated China, EU and Russia nuke the U.S. for causing this shit. By "financial reasons" Kelso means that the other three powers, enjoying astonishing growth, would be furious with the U.S.A. for spoiling it for them when they couldn't give a bucket of warm piss about "rapture" but do like steady growth and low inflation.

More likely, however, and Kelso was first alerted to this by radio host Mike Malloy who got it from his friend/philosophical opponent the late Meir Kahane, the C.U.F.I. folks and their American Jewish servants will want those Israeli and worldwide conversions to Fundamentalist Christianity once the nukes hit Iran. Israelis, however, are an odd salad bowl but one thing they are most definitely not is stupid. And they are self-sufficient. And they do protect themselves. So, Malloy posed they rhetorical question, "where are the couple of hundred Israeli missles with nuclear warheads aimed? At some nearby hostile Arab, Muslim or Arab/Muslim targets? Sure,a few. Where are the rest aimed? Where do you think? New York, Washington D.C., Omaha, Los Angeles, San Jose, Seattle, NoCom, SoCom, dumbasses!" Fortunately, there are a few intelligent American Zionists who are hip to all of this, and could stop all of it in time. Or maybe not. Fingers crossed. That's the best we can hope for.

It's time to start kicking some ass, though, or at least dropping some science on these repulsive fundies, to let them know from a real Jew what the fake Jews like Lieberman won't tell them. Why do these Christians think that they are so wonderful and powerful that they may view everyone else as "the other" and maintain some misguided sense of superiority without the reverse? Kelso's guessing by now at least half the Fundies are aware of what Black Americans think of them (excluding Obama, Powell, Rice, etc.) -- what you'd expect, that they are soft pink white pigs, mean, rigid, racist shits, who go running to hide underneath the policeman's skirt. The Latin immigrants they hate so much hate them worse. Take that to the bank.

Here's what the 2/3 of sane American (and diasporal) Jews think of them. By "them" we mean C.U.F.I. folks, Dobson and Haggard's flocks, etc. We don't mean Congregationalists or Episcopalians or Presbetyrians or the more sensible Methodists and Catholics. Here's what "we" think of the soft white pink pigs: morons who can't read, write, count or fuck properly...easy marks to be skinned for all their money at will...and kind of foul in the sense that we're not in a hurry to be in the same swimming pool with them and kind of smelly at the trailer park levels and basically chickenshit whitebread motherfuckers.

Does that surprise you Fundies? You actually thought for a nano-second that you were better than us? That we wished we could be like you? Are you crazy? We got Jesus, Freud, Einstein, Marx and Milton Friedman, Salk and Sabin, and a cast of 10,000s of thousands of leading lights. Who you got? David Duke? Bruce Willis? Pul-leeze. All you got is a little political power right now because there's a lot of you and you vote the same way. But your day is coming. Not in 2008. But it's coming. Kelso probably won't be alive to see it but he promises this: it won't be rapture; it'll be a straight-up ass-fucking. From the ass-fucking masters.

So, it might not be a bad idea to stop using the phrase "Judeo-Christian Values." And it might not be a bad idea to bag this Holy Land Rapture Prophecy fantasy.

Kelso kind of like to fuck one of those little College Republican Fundie broads in Max Blumenthal's flick, though. Oh, is that too harsh? Or too hypocritically sexist, Bill O'Reilly? Two words: ANNE FRANK.

Kelso's Nuts love you.