THE FUR-LINED TEACUP

Kelso is fighting a number of battles of a mostly personal nature right now and has also been too busy with work to do much blogging. Now in Hawaii on a family "vacation". Will need a serious vacation from this vacation when Kelso returns.

As to those threatening Kelso, one trite phrase: "experience is the best teacher". And as Kelso has been down these roads before, he knows what needs done, has done it, and that's it. It is all out of Kelso's hands. The attorneys and authorities have it and the next moves are "you'n" (to quote Twain). Carry it any farther with Kelso and expect pain.

When all of this BS is over, you Floppers of The Nuts are not going to believe some of the retarded things Kelso was accused of doing! Get ready for some laughs.

Nevertheless, with all of this crap bearing down on Little K, things keep rolling along financially and intellectually and of course at the poker table. OUR MAN FROM ATHENS finish his Tunica/Commerce swing and returned 200% ROI to his investors, on top of 100% from last year. We eagerly await his WSOP schedule for the late spring and early summer. But far beyond the money, we are very proud of him (1) because he's such a promising, developing, emerging player and (2) he's just a plain old nice-guy which is all too rare in all fields of endeavor. Well done, David. Kelso will be seeing you in the flesh in late March, Early April.

Kelso also likes David's "warts-and-all" approach to his poker reportage and believe that there is a great book in there somewhere. In every other book, the (ahem) author, acts like he or she never lost a single hand, let alone $1, let alone had a losing week. EVERYBODY LOSES IN POKER. It happens all the time, which is why Kelso thinks David's book might be a big hit. He really gets you up close and personal and puts you in the game along with him. His last few summaries will come in a couple of days

To those who appear to wish Kelso harm, it ought not be necessary, but please remember that Kelso is not a real person. He is a blog persona. And similary to any real person, living or dead, is purely accidental.

The views and opinions expressed here to quote the Master Himself: "...are totally FUCKED and are not necessarily the views of anyone...(anything else?)...YEAH, DON'T DO DRUGS."

That said, let's talk about the opening of Texas hunting season. Kelso refers, of course, to Preident Cheney's levelling of his porcine, Republican banking buddy. Here's how Kelso reads it. When you are the most powerful man in the world and are able to do anything you like with impugnity, get away with it, and BE PRAISED FOR IT, how do you get your kicks? What's the perfect gift for the man who has anything? "Why, A FUR-LINED TEACUP, of course."

Don't think the tea-cup cuts it for Dick, however. So, here's how Kelso guesses he processed it mentally. "None of the death and mayhem I'm caused are doing it for me. I still can't get it up despite Lynne truly being down for WHATEVER. The money is meaningless. The only thing that will satifsy is to do the deed myself. If I go into New Orleans, The 5th Ward of Houston, anywhere in Camden, NJ, and kill a black kid, Georgie and Thomas Friedman will give me the Medal Of Honor! What bullshit! The only thing that's going to get the old juices flowing is to take a risk, and try to kill not only a White person, but a peer in all regards -- a guy just like me."

Kelso is NOT LIBELLING Dick. He is merely guessing and fantasizing.

And so Dick may just have levelled the shotgun at the poor hunting companion and fired away. Luckily, for this man, Cheney is no athlete and the intended victim lives. Here at Kelso's Nuts we are happy for him and his family.

Luckily for the United States Of America, this incident may be the 2006 equivalent of George H. W. Bush chasing too many Halcion with too much bourbon and barfing in the lap of the prime minister of Japan.

It sez here: Warner over McCain in 2008.

*Note on Cheney's wealth. In 1991, Kelso was doing a finance case as part of the routine in studying for one's MBA. The case (a Harvard one; although Kelso has his MBA from a much cooler West Coast Institutional Learning Facility) concerned the oil serivices industry in Louisiana and East Texas. The now world-famous Halliburton was about the 12th largest company in this industry and was not a main player by any means. You know the rest of the story. Entrepreneurship and the "American can-do" spirit, Kelso's left nipple! This is a fascist country -- no, not exactly in the sense of Italy in the 1930s, well a little if you count Guantanano -- check out the list of Fascist attributes Randi Rhodes has been circulating. Government, Big Business and Big Religion working in concert. That's fascism. Not death camps. The death camps are just the little marzipan bride-and-groom on top of the cake.

Bottom line: Halliburton's prosepcts looked dire until Dick took over.

Kelso's Nuts love you.