BACK ON TERRA FIRMA AS SUCH

The issue of the day appears to be the UAE ports deal. It looks like the briar patch to Kelso, something Karl Rove cooked up to get EVERYBODY on the anti-Arab bus. Kelso dinnae have problem with UAE. Kelso have big problem with (as pointed out to him by Eugah, a very, very strong globalist) the, let's say, awkward relationship between Al-Qaida and the government of Saudi Arabia. That operatives, perhaps even with encouragement and financing of who-the-hell-knows-Carlyle?, got so close to one of the most important refineries in the world is very worrisome. They succeed and the knock-on effects are fucking crazy shit.

Nobody saw it in the American media, but those guys were like 100 yards from the main catalytic cracking facility.

Of course, we'd rather have our ports secured by American companies or some public/private entity under American control, but America is still pulling the purse strings and it's not like Mohammad Atta will be minding the clipboard and checking the liquor bonding. It will be good old Vinnie From Bayside and Ferguson From St. Alban's just like every other job of that sort in NY.

Be smart. Don't be a retard like Hillary Clinton, Chuck "How-Do-I-Represent-Every-Strain-Of-American-Thinking-At-Once-Without-Going-Insane-From-Cognitive-Dissonance" Schumer, Peter "Opus-Dei" King, and Bill Frist. Boy, there's a quartet you really want to party with.

As for partying, the crew you do want to hang with is obviously the Bush Administration and its folks: rock, drinking, shooting, gay prostitutes, golfing in Scotland...it's all good. Could 25% of the electorate be that stupid? Here's a perfect Check-Yo-Self for our sad Red State Cousins: before you vote, would you vote for someone Kelso would want to party with?

Maybe some baseball and poker stuff later on this week.

Kelso's Nuts love you.