JOANIE ONE-NOTE WEIGHS IN...
...on the op-ed of today's Tissue Of Lies. That's right, Miss Camille Paglia steps up in defense of Larry Summers "Academic, Heal Thyself." Kelso clocks Summers as pretty much a geek, but his actions certainly prove one of Miss Paglia's dicta: that these upper middle-class soft boys ain't worth their protoplasm.
Not only did Summers show himself to be weak and pussy-whipped, he also showed that he isn't too bright neither. He went and picked a fight with Cornel West who -- for all his faults and as annoying as he can be -- is a fucking man. So's Anthony Appiah. So's Skip Gates. So, Summers picks a fight with West armed with only his fat gut and the encouragement of the Charlie Roses of the world. Oh, good move, Larry! You want that kind of fight, asshole, you come strapped. You say to West "cut the shit or $1bn in corporate money leaves the endowment and it's on your head for putting out a lame rap CD." And mean it. You think with nothing but your own narrow-minded views Cornel West is even going to give you the time of day? Jesus, but that's stupid. And you go and lose Appiah in the bargain.
Not satisfied with that fuck-up, Summers decides to take on an entire gender, 52% of the population of the university. To prove what exactly? That he's a tough guy? That he's the laser that's going to remove the cancer of "political correctness" from higher education? Again, try something like that, you'd better be ready to fire a lot of people. What did the idiot think, that Robert Rubin and Bill Clinton had his back? Nobody had his back. Not the Olin Foundation. Not President Bush. Not even that other putz, David Horowitz. Nobody.
So, sure the weak prick caved in and of course it was too little too late. A dollar gets a dime that Laura Ingraham isn't even fucking the sad sack any more. Shit, even Daryn Kagan had the good sense to let the other fat blivet, Rush Limbaugh, go.
If it was obsession with Laura Ingraham that started all this shit, take some advice from Uncle Kelso. Laura Ingraham costs $400/hr at any hotel in the world.
Good luck to you, Laurence Summers. Maybe you can get a job teaching Microeconomics at that beauty school Camille Paglia teaches at. Kelso thinks they take those fucking Catholic school vouchers.
Sayonnara sucker.
Kelso's Nuts love you.
4 comments:
Good one (oh, actually two), Kelso.
Thanks, Anita.
That means a lot coming from you. No lie. Kelso knows it took a lot for you to set aside some of your agreement with Camille Paglia and your (occasional) belief in the "Touchstones" theory to pay Kelso the compliment.
For Kelso's (and your) part, he's setting it forth here that while he does believe that Eminem is the Walt Whitman of our generation, Shakespeare's sonnets alone have all the overs on Outkast and even -- gasp! -- Robert Johnson and always will.
We like the Greeks here. We like the Renaissance. We like the Dutch Masters. We like the Framers Of The Constitution. And, yes Virginia, we even like those (yawn) Impressionists. We clearly think political correctness of the left (ethnic & gender crudity no gooooood) and right (religious & military crudity no gooooood) are bullshit.
But we see nothing wrong with African-American Studies Departments at our great universities and...finally, a lesson for the Right-Wing in all this is DON'T SEND LITTLE LORD FAUNT-LE-ROY IN TO DO FLOYD MAYWEATHER'S JOB. Bill Bennett has 1000x the testosterone/progesterone (it's a metaphor, dammit) that Larry Summers has and he couldn't do shit. So, stop. And RELAX.
Want an illustrative story? About 20 years ago, Kelso was recruited by a mentor in the gambling world to join a small commnunist party because in the words of the mentor, Kelso had a fine grasp on "dialectical materialism and the working class." Kelso told the man (who is still a business partner and friend) flat out "no way, I'm a capitalist...I know that shit because I went to very good, very expensive schools...all of us know that shit because MARX is part of the Canon..."
As Christopher Caldwell has pointed out, Larry Summers fell because he had the wrong idea that Harvard was a place for "intellectual curiosity" where everything is fair game, instead of a finishing school for society's future leaders, which is what it really is. The kids at Harvard already have 150 IQ's, and it matters little whether they study Shakespeare, film noir, or rap and mass culture; but what they do in fact need is polishing. It has been thus for 150 years.
Harvard's admission process is desgined to blend the Summerses together with people from a range of geographical backgrounds, ethnicities, and economic classes, so long as they all dazzle with their brains, leadership and personal qualities. And Harvard has discovered that these dazzling people -- not the nerds like Larry, who will join academia -- will in fact become the CEO's, political leaders, etc. of America and will give back to alma mater and burnish her image 10 times over.
What can Kelso say to that, Harvey?You put it much more eloquently than Kelso did and Kelso may have to put up your whole posting in next Summers piece.
Brilliant!
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