WHAT IS TO BE DONE?

Howzat? Pretty unfashionable question, but screw it, Kelso has to get your attention somehow and if it means going with old V.I. too fucking bad. Live with it.

Lots of business today. First of all, what a wretched weekend on the gridiron. Nothing more on that. It was boring, costly and it sucked in general. Off the top of Kelso's head, the Carolina Panthers look like a great bet-against next week, but Kelso has yet to run the numbers.

Second of all, Judge Samuel Alito. Everything you need to know about him is right here:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060109/pl_nm/court_conservatives_christians_dc

Take a look a those faces in that picture and see if that's what you want your country to be. Kelso thinks Alito will be confirmed by 66-34 and probably with the full support of the Tissue Of Lies. So many times Kelso has felt the die has been cast: the impeachment of Clinton, the 2000 election, the War, the endless bullshit, the 2004 election, the beggared dollar, the Patriot Act, the wiretapping...but still it goes on and still America takes it. Kelso's only conclusion is that America likes it. Well, good. Have fun.

If you don't like it, however, and organization and protest is clearly no longer an option, there is only one act of defiance left but it is the big one, so big that it helped give birth to this once great nation: THROW THE FUCKING TEA IN THE HARBOR. You ought to know what that means. If not, pick up your kid's 7th grade American History textbook and figure it out. Otherwise, get comfortable with the idea that "maybe fascism isn't so bad after all."

Third of all, we follow up on matters Abramoff and Scanlon. Is everyone aware exactly of who is in charge of this prosecution? It is the head of the criminal division of the Justice Department, one Ms. Alice Fisher. When Ms. Fisher was put forth by W for this post, one of the Democratic Senators from the Mid-West -- it might have been Levin or Kohl, someone like that -- put an immediate stopper on her, the so-called "hold." She has never tried a case and is deeply connected to various law firms related to Tom DeLay and other potential targets of this inquiry. So, what does W do, he puts her in as a "recess appointment." Levin or whoever better put that "hold" back on, now, because Ms. Fisher is there to make sure that the Bush interests are not affected by whatever falls out of Abramoff and Scanlon's testimony. She is, of course, a protege of one of the most heinous people Bush has put into a position of power, Michael Chertoff, Director Of Homeland Security, and appears an all-round bad egg. Kelso said that there were many ways for this to go wrong and right from the jump we are seeing one way. So, Democrats, please stop gloating. This is not going anywhere but to a very bad place. At this point, Kelso kind of wishes that Abramoff, Scanlon and DeLay had gotten away with it.

By the time this is all over, there will be a couple of big names (Cunningham, Ney) with short prison sentences, Abramoff and Scanlon with longish ones, and the country will be in a worse position in all regards than it was -- say -- a year ago, as the RNC, Bush and the Cheney himself will get a clean bill of health.

Now, Kelso has gotten much praise on his taking up the race, culture and politics issue in the last entry, so let's finish up with more of the same. On his last business trip out West, a White, gentile woman of Kelso's acquaintance, who belongs to a trade union and votes a straight Democratic ticket, asked Kelso if he "hates Arabs because of 9/11" After Kelso regained his composure from having gotten light-headed with laughter, he told the woman a few things: (1) THIS IS WHITE AMERICA'S THING, NOT A THING OF WE NEW YORKERS, ANYMORE. You fuckers stole this from us and Kelso can't speak for the other 7mm and change, but he's pissed. His city was attacked with some complicity or omission from the Bush administration which then appropriated the tragedy to fulfill its own vile ends. For that, Kelso will always hate you. (2) IF KELSO WERE TO "HATE ARABS" OR MUSLIMS OR WHATEVER, HOW COULD HE POSSIBLE GET THROUGH A SINGLE DAY IN NYC? We are all jammed in together here and we had better find ways to get along, both for the sake of city harmony and the psyches of every New Yorker of every ethnicity and culture. So, no. Kelso doesn't hate Arabs or Muslims at all. Again, he deals with them on an individual basis and makes determinations as to friendship potential on that individual basis which again usually comes down to common interests. (3) On a tangential issue, Kelso tends to favor the two-state solution (or failing that, the inclusion of the territories into a "Greater Jordan." Now, with "peacemaker" Ariel Sharon not long for this world, those options will not be available unless, somehow, Ohmert can put the beating on Netanyahu. Not likely. Expect nothing but ugliness from that little slice of heaven for the forseeable future, which will get conflated with the Iraq war, whatever they're still doing in Afghanistan, the ghosts of 9/11, and the will of our Permanent Republican Theocratic Extremist Repubican Government.

You all think Tom DeLay was so bad. He was "corrupt" bad. Not Ferdinand and Isabella bad. Wait to you see what Representative Mike Pence (R-IND) has up his sleeve. He's a true believer, and probably doesn't have a corrupt bone is his body. And that, Floppers, is velly, velly bad.

Oh, time for DUDES & DWEEBS. Pretty hard to find a dude out there, but Kelso is going to give a group Dude award to the former Secretaries Of State (minus Colin Powell, of course) who cold-watered Bush's photo op, gave him no applause and even -- surprisingly coming from the most hawkish, least compassionate of the bunch, Madeline Not-To-Bright -- a little ball-busting. Nice to see the pathetic Colin Powell up there with some of the top dogs. Kelso is reminded of how much the good sense and straight-up balls of George P. Shultz is missed. Sure, he made zillions with Bechtel. Big deal. He told Reagan the uncomfortable truth, led him to a rapproachment with Gorbachev and stuck a thumb in Nancy Reagan's eye by never backing down from his "legalization of drugs" position. It casued a lot of controversy in 1987, but looking back, Norman Mailer was probably right to have Shultz give the key-note speech at the 1987 PEN conference over Grace Paley's objection. Kelso dates himself, though.

The DWEEB is easy. The Reverend Pat Robertson. The man is truly in a league of his own. There is no one like Pat Robertson. DWEEB doesn't really do him justice. He is Satan. David Brooks, John Tierney and the chick who sung the praises of Judge Alito are true DWEEBS, all writing on the Tissue Of Lies Op-Ed page the same day. Liberal newspaper, huh?

Kelso's Nuts love you.