HI EVERYBODY, YOUR UNCLE KELSO IS BACK

A small break and it's back to live action. Please review responses to comment on last posting for today's topic. Something really radical. Nothing about DeLay or the war or abortion or anything like that. Something really ultra-toxic. That guy who plays Left for the Giants. Anybody can love the environment, but it's your real progressives that root for Barry Bonds. Go on my, son! #715 and #756 this year, yeah?

If he were not about to pass Babe Ruth's career HR total there wouldn't be any book about him. There wouldn't be any blather about steroids. Nothing. For all you baseball fans in your 40s and beyond, doesn't this feel an awful lot like the Dick Allen crap in the 1970s? Barry Bonds was is and always has been better than Babe Ruth. And Dick Allen was fucking close. Ted Williams was probably better, as was Mantle at his peak and maybe Yazstrzemski but that's it. When Bonds was skinny he was about 4 wins a season better than the next best LF in baseball. If he took steroids, he was one of 500 who did. Most of them white. Many of them dreaming up the most fucked up lies you can imagine: Vikram Yoga and Spin Class? Kiss my ass, Vikram Yoga and Spin Class, Carl Pavano. How come you can't pitch anymore, dude? And how about credits to their race, the "bootstraps" sisters, Venus and Serena Williams. They were fucking Men for crying out loud. A dollar gets a Canadian dime that neither conceives a child. And they became #1 & #2 tennis players in the world with no formal training? Just a "determination" to escape Compton? And you all believed that? Go back and look at a match one of them had against Kimberly Po who was about #40 in the world at the time. It was like watching a child against the best Man on the circuit.

So, Barry Bonds was a rich celebrity's son who was arrogant and cranky and married a white woman and might have used shit as he began to age. That's the problem? That's what ails America? Then you go out to your fuck-ass tron job and have people throw syringes and bananas at you because you have the temerity to be black, reasonably bright, private. something of a depressive and the greatest talent of your generation. The Europeans are absolutely right. Every last one of us is dumb as a doorknob.

Well, at least it's not completely racial as we revist the horror of the Kazmir for Zambrano trade. The word that followed this abortion was that Kazmir being a super-talented kid AND the son a brain surgeon had a bit of an attitude AND maybe liked to party a little too much and the owners of the Mets didn't care for him. So, as Victor Zambrano fucks the Mets divisional hopes in the ass with his sub 1 strikeout/walk ratio, and Kazmir has an outside chance of the AL Cy Young award, the Wilpons and Omar Minaya really have to ask themselves if ridding their team of their best left-handed prospect for a sack of potatoes, albeit a Latin sack of potatoes at about 5 times the price, was it worth it? Well, at least none of you have to deal with Scott Kazmir's "arrogance" Jesus, was Anna Benson right all along? Come back, Rush Limbaugh, all is forgiven. Is Kazmir Jewish by any chance? If so, then it's all an intense Gordian Knot which only John Kerry's salute and Barrack Obama's mawkish speech can provide clues to untangling. Sorry for surrealism. A nod to Alan Boston.

It's baseball season, and Kelso's revved up. Who by the way came up with the great prank of putting Kelso on the comp list for The New York Sun? First names that come to mind are Harvey, Anonymous FB, "Country" or perhaps Lily. Good one, whoever.

Kelso's Nuts love you.