DUDES AND DWEEBS

DUDES

No doubt. No question. The gentlemanly Red Sox of Boston for sweeping Rudy Giuliani's Girls in thrilling fashion, even managing to close out first win without Papelbon. How about that 12-6er at 60mph A-Rod watched go by? A-Rod, though, will always be a favorite here on the Nuts for various reasons, primarily because he's the Honus Wagner of our generation and it's time to appreciate him (see also Barry Bonds). We like that A-Rod is not shy about seeing psychotherapist 2x/week. And we LOVE that the Juliettes are too stupid to put him at short where he belongs and move the odious Jeter to wherever the odious Jeters of the world get moved to. Speaking of the odious Jeter, it's kind of sad that A-Rod has picked up the unsportsmanlike ways of his fellow Giuliani Girls and persists in glaring back at umpire whenever a strike is called. Enough about A-Rod. Sawx beat Leahy by a furlong.

DWEEBS

Only one obvious dweeb this week. It's Senator Jon Kyl (R-Hell) who used most of his time "questioning" Alberto Gonzales doing for Torture Taco what "Monica did for Bill," to quote Mike Malloy. And how was that particular flag-salute performed? By praising him to high heavens for his valor in the war against online/off-shore gambling which is of course another front in the war on terror because as everyone knows Americans' poker and sports-betting habits are exactly traitorous in that they aid Al-Qaida. Here's a capsule description of it from www.firedoglake.com. Kelso can't seem to find full transcript. Be more diligent than Kelso, please and find it for us.

SEN. KYL QUESTIONS: Kyl agrees with what Whitehouse says. AG says that the do not want to send the message that prosecutors should not follow the evidence and prosecute. Kyl asks whether there has been any difference in how things are prosecuted? AG says not to his knowledge, but that he has limited information on how this is handled in individual USA office, for good reason. Kyl then tweaks Schumer for what he regards as an incorrect conspiracy standard being raised. Kyl wants to thank the AG about crime victims rights — and wants to get the AG's help in setting up a meeting on that. And then talks about internet gaming prosecutions. (CHS notes: Talk about your off-topic blather…and it goes on and on and on.)

Kyl's dweebiness points out an oddity in the Dude/Dweeb contest this week because Kyl -- like the Red Sox -- beats out good old Senator Pat Leahy for Dweeb, albeit also by a pole. When Kyl began spouting this insane and irrelevant pack of lies with regard to gambling and terrorism, was Leahy as chairman not allowed to tell Kyl to shut the fuck up and stay on topic? Was he not allowed to ask for some kind of Point Of Order or Point Of Informtion per Robert's Rules? Sure, he was allowed. Just scared. That's all. Can't say we blame him here, though. Cheney scares the shit out of us to be sure.

On South Africa at just over 9/2 to win World Cup Of Cricket from here. We're expecting to lose to Australia but as price makes right we feel we have the best of it.

Kelso's Nuts love you.