SOME VERY QUICK IMUS NOTES

Yes, he had the right to say what he did, but what he said sucked on so many levels it's really hard to get a handle on it. Kelso never gave a fuck for Imus -- right of the dial, Kelso prefers The Pig Man and The Lady With The Adam's Apple -- and Imus gets no credit whatsoever from Kelso for his charity. If Johnny Thunders were alive he might have said during his performance "Why don't you kids get up and dance? It's like I'm fucking playing for Don Imus's Paraplegics or whatever the fuck they're called." You think Imus abuses those kids on his ranch? Nah, not likely. Maybe 8/5 against. Oh, and Don Imus's mother and father suck cocks in hell. And that last bit of invective is in tribute to Imus's having McCrazy and Holy Joe Lieberman as regular guests, never mind his disgusting comment about the Lady Scarlet Knights (Scarlet Knight Ladies?)

Now, that Kelso's blown off some steam, some more rational thoughts follow. In no particular order. Kelso is a New York sports fan and as such has had few local NCAA teams to root for. It's really just St. John's and Rutgers in basketball, Rutgers in football. Columbia in basketball only if off-shore places are putting up Ivies. So, fuck you very much Imus for trashing the Rutgers Women's team. That was a great goddamned run and we're proud of them. From all indications, a couple of the starters are bona fide scholar-athletes but even if they were only jocks, who cares? That Southern fake hair scumbag trashed one of Kelso's favorite college teams.

Imus has also proven the quantum difference between himself and Howard Stern QED. Leaving aside the fact that Howard is funny and Imus is an idiot, this is a perfect example of the difference between not being PC and yes being a racist. Howard and Robin Quivers have said way more outrageous things, but always giving the victim the chance to give it two-times back and when they fail, Howard will always assume the role and trash himself personally.

Worse even then Imus, though, is that odious Howard Fineman who showed up to defend him. Is there a creature more repulsive by species than a corporate media "Washington analyst"? Matt Taibbi's covered this ground extensively, but if Fineman isn't the exemplar, who is? Jonathan Alter? Anybody who writes for the J-Republic? Dana Millbank? Wow, there's a whole gunnysack of them, isn't there?

Some qualified applause here for Reverend Al Sharpton's stinging comments. No props whatsoever for MSNBC for suspending Imus. Why suspend him? He's doing and saying exactly what they want him to. They ought to continue to let the ass bray. Some props for McCrazy who has backed Imus all the way. McCrazy's a bastard and at least is not hypocritcal. And he's playing bastard this time all-in, down-to-the-felt. But Kelso hasn't heard a peep out of Imus's other main man, Holy Joe Lieberman. You know the same Holy Joe Lieberman who was SO VERY ACTIVE in the civil rights movement (yeah, and a giant pig just flew by). Little Acne Face must be all twisted up. He's loved going on Imus's program to spout his right-wing, hawkish bullshit, but what can he do now? He's a bastard, too, but unlike McCain, Holy Joe is also a eunuch. Effectively, Imus's little "gaffe" has put Holy Joe in a round room with instructions to pee in the corner. Lieberman's only out here is to pee all over himself and shout out how much he loves Israel. Try it, Acne Face. Kelso doesn't think you're qualified to be Ned Lamont's gardener but that's a whole other story.

Sri Lanka -105 over New Zealand looks like the play in World Cup cricket. Just too much hockey and tenny to deal with here right now. If there's a big outcry for it, Kelso will oblige.

Kelso's Nuts love you.