A SHORT ONE THIS MORNING -- WORK BECKONS

Let's get back to politics. $25mm for Obama. Uhhh....what, as Beavis used to say? This is no damned good. Well, it's sort of good in the sense that Kelso had been mulling a large wager on Hillary for President but has not yet acted. Probably, a better price than the 7/2 Kelso was seeing with La Clinton will be available, but if this fool can raise that kind of money so quickly, there may be some problems in Democrat-burg. Whereas Hillary is campaign-tested and loves to win, from all indications Obama will follow the Gore and Kerry path and agree with everything either Giuliani or McCain says all in the name of bi-partisanship (and you all know that "bi-partisanship" in English means "Democrats sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up"). So, we'll wait on the bet, but continue to endeavor to talk every man with the franchise into voting for her.

Kelso's viewpoint on this is simple. Ideologically speaking, with Corzine and Feingold out, there isn't a nickel's worth of difference among any of the Democratic candidates, ex-Kucinich, so let's go with the one who can win. Kelso and Kelso-pere have been arguing about this for months. Kelso-pere's opinion is this: Obama's a joke, but Dodd, Gore and Edwards are slightly to Hillary's left, so he's holding out there, while he roots for the quixotic campaign of Republican Ron Paul, because Kelso-pere only wants: "the wars over, a flat-tax and anyone who's anti-Patriot Acts." Cannot argue with Dad on any of that, and Ron Paul surely fits the bill, but having felt the sting of the Republican lash, Kelso's not in the mood to screw around. He's biting down hard and going for the Junior Senator from the great State of New York unless she shows down as anti-gambling. Kelso earned no credit whatsoever from pere in pointing out that pere's main man, Corzine, has endorsed her. Hoping we can convince the Old Man that (only true thoroughbred-racing aficionados will dig this) that if Hillary used to party with Dan Lasater and Dave Vance in Arkansas back in the day, that's good enough. And gee whiz, with Lasater and Vance and the Big Dog, god only knows what mischief they got up to. And it surely doesn't bother Kelso in the slightest that former NY Ranger goaltender Mike Richter has been vigorously campaigning for her in Pennsylvania.

So, until convinced otherwise, the pacifist Kelso's nailed his colors to the mast of the ship steered by a center-right Democrat, hawkish on foreign policy, without any other discernible views whatsoever, except that she pro-death penalty, wobbly on abortion, but loves children, but not so much that she had a problem throwing 25,000,000 of them off of AFDC in 1996. Now, that's just fucking bizarre. But we make our compromises where we must.

At least we rest easy here, comfy-cozy in the knowledge that maybe a year ago Colin Powell was only 8/1 against in the betting for President and Condoleeza Rice was generally 15/1 against, 12/1 in places. Now, the two are about 8/1 and 12/1 to end up in a cell in Brussells for a good long while, and probably in a ring of hell for eternity.

Enjoy the Masters Golf. Kelso will be munching down his peach pie with brie on top while grooving to ESPN Espanol's coverage. Never heard golf called in Spanish before. Should be a treat.

Kelso's Nuts love you.