"YOU ASK ME IF I LIKE ARSENIO/...

...about as much as the bicentennial." -- Ice Cube, 1991, AmeriKKKa's Most Wanted.

Though we never much cared for Arsenio Hall either, this is Kelso's 200th posting and attention must be paid. Polymaths here, we like Ice Cube and Arthur Miller (and Arthur Okun). Did anyone besides Anonymous FB read yesterday's entry?

Congratulations to the Anaheim Ducks on their magnificent Stanley Cup victory and to one of our favorite players, Scott Niedermayer, on his cup MVP. Too bad this team plays in a city that doesn't give two shits about hockey. If the Ratner plan for the Atlantic Yards goes through (we hope it doesn't, Anita), Ducks ownership ought to consider a move to Brooklyn where people much prefer hockey to hiking -- ok, in Park Slope and The Heights not so much. The Brooklyn Golden Blades in honor of the old WHA franchise doesn't sound bad. Don't think the NY metro-area would mind the return of Scott Niedermayer too much. In Anaheim or Brooklyn, the Ducks look like they'll be pretty good for a while. McDonald, Perry, Penner, Kunitz, Beauchemin and Shannon form an explosive core of young players. We're assuming they will re-sign Giguere and keep him in goal for a while, giving them a super tandem of Giggy and Ilya Bryzgalov. Guessing Niedermayer and Pronger will be around for another year at least, but they'll miss Teemu Selanne if he retires. Not that Kelso minds the various investment opportunities that management's propensity for carrying so many bruisers like May, Moen, Parros and Shawn Thornton provides, but they don't need all that muscle. Replace three of the above with some finesse players and you've got the Detroit Red Wings. Kelso's tin foil copa de Stanley sits atop his escritorio.

Great moment in the sala last night. Kelso arrives lameting the Mets loss to Philadelphia to a former New York transplant by way of Israel. Said Israeli tells Kelso "I hate baseball...it's so boring." Mohammed to Israeli Michal's left admonishes him. "Never say that to a New Yorker. You know better than that. New Yorkers like baseball more than sex." Muy, muy listo, el Arabe este. Mad as a hatter, Mo, but he knows from what he speaks.

Kelso's acquaintance the political journalist Michael Tomasky ex of The American Prospect seems to have landed a fine gig at The Guardian (UK) writing about American politics. His masterpiece, Hillary's Turn, about her first run for the Junior New York United States Senate seat is brilliant and a must read if anyone wants an insight into her now that she's likely to be the next President. Tomasky was one of the first journalists to recognize that Ms. Clinton is no liberal and was one of the first to pay attention to the decent-sized cohort of us who dislike her for her conservatism and never had any notion that she was some kind of crazed-up feminazi communist.

Tomasky has taken some heat on liberal talk-radio and in the blogosphere for his piece lauding Pelosi for allowing the war to go on not because of any bellicosity but because of a political calculus. Look, if Kelso had his way Angela Davis would be president and there never would have been a war, but in a democracy nobody ever gets everything they want. Bush completely buffaloed the Democrats on this, and to be sure it was their own fear that got 'em buffaloed, but the leadership's choices were limited and there really are too many of those wretched yellow ribbons out there to take any chances. In fantasyland, Tomasky's a DLC square, but this is reality so give him some room (to quote the English socialist musician, Billy Bragg). The Democrats definitely should have filibustered Alito for the Supreme Court and should not have been so into the flag-waving in 2002. Kelso's also no fan of Pelosi. She's another Bay-Area richy-rich like Dianne Feinstein and Gavin Newsome, but give her credit for pushing Murtha over uber-hawk Hoyer for Majority Leader. Reid's no beaut either -- casino industry whore basically -- but he, too, has had his moments, including backing Feingold on the bill which would have ended the war the soonest. This was a tough call and it could not have been fun for the leadership knowing they were betting at least another 1500 American soldiers' lives. We don't like it, but we're going to see how this particular capitulation plays out.

Tomasky was also good on Obama. As far as we could tell here, he's the only big name journalist to agree that Obama's a horrible debater. Tomasky does join the pack, however, in lauding Obama's oratory, which Kelso thinks is also weak. On the subject of name-brand Black people, Tomasky has it half-right about Tiger Woods. Tomasky compares Woods to Michael Jordan and Muhammad Ali but that's all wet. While Jordan had the best career, there were many years in which he was not the best player in the NBA. And for a career, Chamberlain, Olajuwon, Russell, Johnson, etc., are quite close. Ditto in boxing. Ali is the greatest boxer ever but the gap between him and Mayweather, Jr., for a career is not that big. Nor was Ali the best in every year of his career. Woods, in other words, is better than Jordan or Ali -- by a lot. The comparable athletes are -- sorry, Mike, this doesn't fit the whole Black thing -- Babe Ruth (before the uppercut swing was generally adopted) and Jack Nicklaus. One probably could make a case for Josh Gibson of the KC Monarchs if a dark-skinned comp is necessary. Don't believe Kelso. See the Stanford University scholarship on the subject at http://www.wagesofwins.com.

From the It-Happens-To-The-Best-It-Happens-To-The-Rest-Dept.: Davydenko small +5/1 over Federer.

Kelso's Nuts love you.