THE WHITEWASHING, THE MINSTREL SHOW

With the help of the Mathman's comment on yesterday's second post, Kelso has begun to crystallize for himself why he finds these Neo-Cons so awful. By plumping for these wars but being unwilling to fight them, the Neo-Cons are emasculating the rest of us and robbing us of our color. The world now sees American Jews as heartless chickenhawks, sending the poor off to die in their place, while nailing "our flag" and Israel's to the worst elements of the Christian Right. Kelso can't speak for the rest of us but he feels like Bill Kristol, Thomas Friedman and Joe Lieberman are not represeenting him to the world the way he wants as an American Jew to be represented.

Mathman got at this a bit in his comment on yesterday's post noting that Israel owes much its origination and survival to its founding by Holocaust survivors. We may have a lively debate as to whether or not the Palestinians are paying for White European crimes, a debt that maybe should have been paid by, say, Poland. It's a legitmate argument which carries some weight in deciding the way forward for Israel. Another regular commenter, "Harvey," has eloquently decried "Woody Allen Minstrelsy" on this site. What links all this together is the whitewsahing of our history and our culture. These fuckers are emasculating the rest of us. We are not war-wimps or clowns. Not the vsat majority of us. The vast majority of us are peace-lovers who'll fight if we have to, not chickenhawks who start fights and let others do the dying while wrapping ourselves in the shroud of moral purity. We're not pure. We are dark, dark people and that's not necessarily something to be ashamed of. Kelso is not saying that Arnold Rothstein, Meyer Lansky, or Dutch Schultz should be anyone's role models. But neither should Joe Lieberman, David Brooks and Bill Kristol. They are the same shtetl trash that Kelso is no matter how mainstream they are, how much moralizing they do, how much money they have, how many Southern Baptist leaders they hang out with or how much they hate Blacks.

Fuck you, Joe Lieberman, for trashing Bill Clinton on the Senate floor. Joe Lieberman may fancy himself a moral avatar about half James Dobson, but Kelso doesn't fancy himself that way. Kelso knows where he comes from. He knows what his appetites are. He knows what his forebears did to survive. And unlike Joe Lieberman, Kelso is proud, not ashamed of his heritage, dark and light. Who's the fucking self-hating Jew, Lieberman? It's you. It's you who wants to pretend we're Southern Baptists. It's you who have some Hollywood notion of what Israel is: crazed-up hasidim at the Wailing Wall or something. But by pretending that there isn't a dark side to us is robbing of our balls. The ashkenazim alone are a diverse lot: Einstein and Rothstein, Freud and Lansky, Bohr and Schultz. And every American Jewish family has skeletons in its closet. We have to face that and make it a source of srength not weakness. We have vice in our blood and there's no getting away from that. It's not self-hating to admit that. All of us still standing might be somewhere real bad but for a break here or a break there. That's it. Luck and pluck. And the ability to fuck.

Today's Neo-Cons don't even have the balls of the previous generation of Neo-Cons. Kelso would take Ayn Rand, Milton Friedman, Dorothy Rabinowitz and Eric Breindel in a heartbeat over this group of wimps. Kelso hated their politics but loved the way they squeezed the lemon fucking dry. They had fun in a twisted-ass way. Joe Lieberman is only squeezing his zits.

There's a little joke Jewish guys tell amongst themselves [Kelso wrote a version of this in a comment on DistributorCap's blog]. We are hopeless when it comes to building things or fixing things around the house but get drugs, sex, money or cards involved and we become MacGyver! Kelso thinks that's pretty funny and kind of true in a way. Kelso knows that Brooks, Kristol and Lieberman are either too innocent to accept the truth that underlies the joke or too ashamed to admit it.

For one second, wimps, stop telling lies about who Israelis are and stop telling lies about who we are. Kelso will only say "please" once.

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