OKTOBERFEST -- AND ANOTHER ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE

Admin first. In FAIRLANE's farewell address he took to task all bloggers, himself included, who like to post in the third person and he wasn't nice about it. That's fine. A "nice" FAIRLANE is not what the world needs. A bad-ass FAIRLANE is essential. Nevertheless, as he seems to be completely hors d'combat let Kelso explain the joke behind Kelso's own conceit at using the 3rd person. It certainly was not an attempt to be part of some blog world in-crowd or some shit like that. Kelso and Ex-Mrs.Kelso#1 are New York Mets fans. Sometime in the late 1980's we noticed that in interviews with the sports media, our favorite Met, Darryl Strawberry would always say such things as "well, Ralph, you know, I've gotta do what's best for Darryl Strawberry." It became a running joke between Kelso and Ex-Mrs.Kelso#1. If there were a small disagreement, say, about where to eat dinner, one of us would invariably say "Well Kelso (or Mrs Kelso) sorry but I gotta do what's best for Darryl Strawberry."

When Kelso's Nuts was launched in the summer of 2005, America's villain was not George Bush it was -- once again -- Darryl Strawberry. The poor guy was broke, had cancer, and was in prison for a parole violation involving Ambien of all things. The press couldn't get enough of how much "political capital" Bush had earned in 2004 and how well he was using it that summer, but they bombed on poor Darryl in earnest. So, it was a tip of the Tam O'Shanter to Darryl Strawberry that we decided to use the 3rd person. It's in the archives. As some old baseball dude like Casey Stengel or Yogi Berra used to say "you could look it up." That work? Or is KELSO still without cred, ya hillbilly fuck ya? [And you were my Minister Of Defense And Acerbic Humor--that hurts, buddy.] Note to FAIRLANE: Kelso's not really mad at you.

In doing a brief blog sweep, we passed by O'Tim at http://otimisin.blogspot.com/ and noticed a nice little post about the coming Oktoberfest. And then Kelso remembered how Angela Merkel winced when Bush had the temerity to give her a back rub. And he remembered all the other cool Germans he's met along the way. And he remembered something his father said about "being stateless." And if fucking Ohmert didn't prove that last fall by adopting the identical gambling law Frist snuck into the Port Appropriations bill, nothing ever will. And Kelso thought some about Germany. How it was great under Frederick II, then it sucked, then it was OK, then it sucked profoundly, then it was irrelevant and now it's pretty great again. Kelso's not a real, real big fan of the Christian Democratic Party Of Germany, he prefers the Social Democrats but, as with every other Western European country, the dead-center of the right-wing party is far to the left of all but 15% or so of the USA Democratic Party.

And don't let us get started on Jews again. Kelso doesn't like to drive but he's not doing anybody any favors by NOT buying a Beamer or a Benzo or an Audi if he feels like it. He almost is kind of doing America's Jewish left a favor. But this is about Oktoberfest and beer not about politics. The whole imported beer and micro-brew thing is not a big deal here in Panama. People drink Heineken or any of the local brews, Atlas, Balboa, Panama, or Soberana. The one micro-brew pub was a complete tits-ups. But Kelso is looking forward to having some brats, hot potato salad and a weizen beer or two at EL RINCON ALEMANO for Oktoberfest.

The absolutely stone-cold perfect song to accompany the post was unavailable on Youtube, but is available at The Queers myspace page. Go there and listen to "I Only Drink Bud." And don't miss that "oy vey" near the end of the song.

http://www.myspace.com/thequeers

This Mets shit is not making things too relaxed around here. Fingernails and cuticles still in good working order. But butterflies are wingin around Kelso's Guts.

Kelso's Nuts, however, love you