DEBATE REVIEW; THE RELIABLE BALM OF LA CIUDAD DE PANAMA

Biden and Kucinich won it. Clinton very solid as usual. Dodd was unusually strong and showed a fine fluency in Spanish. He probably speaks it better than Richardson does. Edwards, Obama and Richardson were lost lambs. Best moment was Biden giving it to Suzanne Malveaux on the abortion issue. It sucks for the Democrats that they always have two opponents: the Republicans and the press. Good for Clinton in tearing Blitzer a new asshole last time. Good for Biden tonight. Suzanne Malveaux has always been a White House mouthpiece and it was great to see Biden put her in her place. If Biden weren't so crazed up, he might make a good president. He'd make a fine Secretary-Of-State in a Clinton Administration. Props to Clinton also for putting that strange woman whose name I've forgotten in her place with a mere mention of her name and an arched eyebrow when the CNN plastic person pressed La Clinton hard on a very stupid issue. Good also to see the two strong candidates, Clinton and Kucinich turning the tables on the weak-sisters, Edwards, Obama and Richardson, but doing a nice two-person train on those poor excuses for candidates. Kucinich made the excellent point that it was quite rich of the rest of these "democrats" to pile on Clinton for her perceived deviation from Democratic orthodoxy when their own records were bad if not worse. Kucinich also provided Clinton with plenty of cover by hitting all the left-wing high notes, rendering any attacks on Clinton impotent. If there is one comon trait Edwards, Obama and Richardson share it's a palpable fear. Caught between the Scylla and Charibdis of Kucinich and Clinton they showed themselves to be anything but presidential timber.

Considering that the only strong presences in the Democratic race are the 2nd tier candidates, it should be a stroll in the park to the nomination for Senator Clinton.

One of the delights of Panama City is being able to find an intellectual conversation almost anywhere. In the bowels of the highly decadent Club Elite, I enjoyed a fascinating conversation about backwardation in the Portland Cement Market and how to monetize stale receivables in various urban clothing lines. I'm a business geek. What can I say? At least in Panama that passes for normal conversation because we're all about business. If I were back in the States I couldn't get any businessperson to hang out with me late on a weeknight and discuss arcane stuff. I'd get some square-ass couples double-date shit and have to talk about home furnishings or how much smarter some fuckwad's daughter is than my son is because she's in some advanced bullshit and my son's just a regular, well-rounded nice kid. So, braggart New York fuckfaces and you know who you are, here's a deal, never speak to me again. Do not send me emails. Continue leaving me the fuck alone. And I won't have to tell you how no matter how nice your window treatments or countertops are your life sucks compared with mine.

BARRY BONDS FACES FELONY CHARGES AND ALBERTO GONZALES IS GIVING CORPORATE PEP-TALKS FOR $100,000 A PIECE

I see a witch-hunt of a magnificent ball-player, probably the defining baseball player of his generation. Maybe he's the best of all time. I am going to spare you all the boring math, but I write this assuming that Bonds did in fact use steroids albeit in a steroid-era. If it's about tearing down the accomplishments in single-season and career power-hitting of an intelligent albeit cranky Black man, that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about your country. Athough, it seems that celebrities have a tougher time defending themselves against perjury and obstruction charges than the average defendant does, the government still has to prove intent to deceive which is very difficult. He'll get a Bay Area jury and a 9th Circuit to which to appeal should there be any irregularity at all, and I already see about four.

But to Joe and Josephine America, one question: how does it help YOU to see Barry Bonds suffer?

And to everyone else: why all the fuss when Barry Bonds is not America's Home Run King. Josh Gibson of the Kansas City Monarchs is. I invite anyone to prove me wrong.

Alberto Gonzales is perhaps the most corrupt and vile creature to ever occupy that office including Edwin Meese and John Mitchell. Those guys were towering heroes compared with Gonzales.

Words fail me. Shame shame shame on all of you. When the Mitchell report is disseminated to the public, how many White players who lied will face this attempted sanction?

In one of the recent strings I was compared to Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter for my retrograde views and "paranoia." Considering that the great hero of those two women, George W. Bush, at least had the good sense to keep his fucking mouth shut and act relatively like a gentleman regarding Mr. Bonds, I think I like that comparison very much, thank you. I only wish I had as much money as they do.

Kelso's Nuts are not amused