I COME IN PEACE. YOU GO IN PIECES. OR NOT.

That's the last bit of cleverness and hostility you'll see in this post. I need you more than you need me, so that's me waving a white flag. In 2 1/4 years of this I've lived up to the tagline in every post: "Schlitz Malt Liquor Is My Favorite Food/Pissed-Off Is My Favorite Mood". I'm so far removed from you I don't even know what is your preferred politically-correct term. What do you like to be called? I've used some horrible slurs here: gringo, wingnut, Christian Crazy, asshole, shaygitz, cocksucker...and I call myself a gentleman! I never even bothered to ask. What works? "Anglo"? "American Man"? "American Christian Man"? So, I'm going to use the generic here. If anyone is able to enlighten me, please feel free to do so.

Dear Sirs:

There is no reason for you to pay any attention to this at all but if you do you won't be offended and it might make sense. I embody everything you hate. I am small and physically weak. I am Jewish by ancestry and atheist by creed. I grew up in New York City. I've lived all over the world. I am a graduate of three elite institutions of learning. I probably have more money than most of you do. I know I have more fun. I am no longer a member of a political party because I no longer live in the United States. I am fluent in Spanish. I'm small enough and dark enough on a good day to be lamped for a poorly-dressed Chilean. I am opposed to the death penalty. I am opposed to war as a matter of personal principle. I am a hedonist. I am an intellectual. I believe strongly in single-payer National Health Care for all, to include the right to an abortion without restriction. If I had my choice the whole National Security State would be a distant memory. I believe in welfare. I believe in quotas favoring African-Americans. I enjoy the company of Muslims and gay people. I'm playing this hand open, so that there are no mistakes. I've forgotten more about business and finance that -- whoever -- Neil Cavuto will ever know, so I could easily trick you into thinking I'm something that I'm not. I AM THE ENEMY and I'm not really sorry about the awful things I've written in this space.

I have a strongly-vested interest in the election of Senator Hillary Clinton as the 44th President Of The United States. Read some of yesterday's post to get the sense of why I feel this way. I like living in Equatorial Latin America and I don't want Venezuela or Ecuador to be the next global hot-spot because American interference and local response will threaten my person and my own private business interests. A threat to me is a threat to my family and my business partners here and abroad. You don't have to care about any of that. It doesn't concern you in the slightest. I don't expect any sympathy or concern. I said I am playing this hand open. I don't expect to make any new friends. I merely want to make one point.

If I know how "you" (and I understand that's not politically-correct and I apologize) feel about things, I know that you, too, have an interest in seeing the Senator's election to the Presidency. That sounds strange, right? It sounds strange to me. A year ago I was railing against her more angrily than you. She's pro-war. She's pro-death penalty. She's a waffler on abortion rights and anything she cooks up in the way of National Health will be a dog's dinner which will maintain the status quo and probably hand more out to the drug and insurance companies. She has never questioned the NRA position on your right to own as many guns as you like. She claims to be a fundamentalist Christian. I have no reason to doubt her nor do I have reason to believe her. If I had to guess, I would guess that she's probably a main-line Episcopalian who's not all that religious and spends very little time worrying about God. It is expedient for her to cop a fundamentalist attitude. That's called smart politics. It doesn't have to be so. She may well be very sincere in her belief. I don't care one way or the other. Do you see where I'm going with this part of the argument? I believe you do. You have more in common with her politics than I do. It sounds weird but she has made no secret about any of this.

Let's get down to chopping walnuts, shall we? Polls and values. Polls and values. Polls and values. Bullshit. Men like war, guns, death, sex, and getting fucked-up. How would President H.R. Clinton impede you from enjoying any of that? She's a hawk on foreign policy. She interprets the 2nd Amendment the way you do. She is an ardent support of the death penalty and was instrumental in advising 42 to expand the number of Federal violations eligible for the ultimate sanction. She stood by her husband as he got up to all sorts of business and she may well have gotten up to the same sort of monkey-shines herself. It has been said she is no stranger to either John Barleycorn or Lord Charles. What's not to like?

And the alternative? That would be America's Mayor, Rudy Giuliani. You admire his strength on 9/11. All I'll give him is that he inhaled more toxins than I did because his command center and fuck-pad were blown to smithereens and he had nowhere to go. He didn't inhale alot more toxins. I lived only a mile and a half North of Ground Zero and I'm not America's anything. What else do you like about him? Falling crime rates in New York. Explain Seattle during the same period with the liberal Black mayor Norm Rice. Explain Denver during the same period with the liberal Black mayer Wellington Webb. Explain New York City with the liberal Jewish mayor Michael Bloomberg who followed Giuliani. It is a sham. But it's worse than that for you. Rudy Giuliani was far to Senator Clinton's LEFT on abortion, gay rights and gun control. But let's stay away from ideology for a second. Let's talk tits. Other than crime ebbing in New York City during Giuliani's mayoralty, what else ebbed? Tits, gentlemen, tits. An agreement between a Mc something from Queens on the City Council and Giuliani and Vallone created a law since relaxed by Bloomberg that required "strippers" to dance fully-clothed! Is that really the kind of guy you LIKE? Be serious now. And remember whose endorsement Giuliani just received. Does Pat Robertson and his vision sound like a whole lot of fun to you? It doesn't to me. We get very angry around this site about child abuse. I am very liberal on criminal justice but I would tear any child-abuser limb-from-limb or die trying if I had the chance. I know that I have accused you of being molesters. A lot of us to that because you call us "weak." We don't like that and unlike Gore and Kerry, we hit back. I think there's probably more child abuse in your community than mine but I can't prove it and it's probably pretty rare. I don't know your ways all that well, but I doubt more than 5% of you are pederasts. Giuliani, child abuse? Don't let me make your mind up for you. Google "Placa" "Giuliani" and make up your own mind. Hillary and Bill Clinton raised a very wholesome daughter under extremely trying circumstances. Bear that in mind.

Everyone has prejudices. All of us. And here, perhaps, is where out prejudices intersect. Giuliani's foreign policy circle contains four of the most low-class, nickle-nose kikes in the history of kikes. As Jews go, I am a Hapsburg Prince compared to those people. Podhoretz, Pipes, urgh.... I hate them as much as you do. They bring out the same feelings in me that they bring out in you. Dirty Jews. I said it.

I just want to be left alone. I don't want a president who'll drop a nuclear bomb on Venezuela because Hugo Chavez said something he didn't like. You just want to be left alone to go about your business. There is one major candidate who will leave us all alone. That is Senator Clinton. Nothing has changed since you all weighed this up magnificently in 2006 and voted Democratic 50-47. You knew then that the Democrats were the party of business, oppotunity and freedom and the Republicans were all about banning pot, porn and poker and worrying about your penises. Do with all of this as you like.

Here's some stuff to read. You don't have to if you don't want to. But this source is A+ and if you view things this way, this is very much a man's man. He has been there and seen and done it all. He is someone a radical like me and a conservative like you can both respect. In the interest of fair play, I'll say that I have exchanged some comments with him. But that's hardly meaningful. It only means that he's not up on some high horse and will respond to respectful inquiries. If you're interested, go to http://thedisbrimstone-dailypitchfork.blogspot.com/ and search for the work of Clark Clifford.

Kelso's Nuts love you