WEEK 6 OF KELSO V Lady Judith Francesca de la Samlð, The Oracle at Acheron
NCAA Football Handicapping Contest

BOTTOM FIGURE GOING INTO WEEK 6: KELSO leads LJFDELSTOAA (4.99) to (5.29)

LJFDEKSTOAA

Purdue -2 [- 1.06] Indiana

Tulsa -15.5 [- 1.05] Army

Louisiana Tech -6 [-1.05] San Jose State

Miami, FL +17 [-1.18] Virginia Tech

Penn State -2.5 [-1.11] Michigan State

Utah -14 [-1.13] New Mexico

Oregon State +2.5 [+ 1.01] Washington State

Alabama -24.5 [+1.01] UL Monroe

South Florida -7 [-1.08] Louisville

West Virginia -6.5 [-1.02] Cincinnati

KELSO

Oregon [-10-109] over ARIZONA

Hawai'i [-7-101] over NEVADA

NEW MEXICO STATE [-9-104] over Utah State

KANSAS [-26"-105] over Iowa State

Central Florida [-13-108] over SMU

HOUSTON [-12-105] over Marshall

NAVY [-16-109] over Northern Illinois

San Jose State/LOUISIANA TECH UNDER <53-105

SOUTH FLORIDA [-7-113] over Louisville

Wisconsin [-14+102] over MINNESOTA

Two good handicappers put on a disgraceful show last week. We match up on SOUTH FLORIDA this week. So, there, children, is your wallet bet. And a cast of 19 other rags...I'm sure the Oracle will back me up on this but in a lifetime of betting college grids, this is the first season I have done so much chalk-eating. The weird thing is that even though we've had relatively few match-ups, the Oracle has done her share of chalk-eating, as well. Odd. This has also been my worst season in a long time. These massive dogs in off-conference games have usually been my bread-and-butter but the quality ones just haven't been there.

We press on. Even a losing week in the HELL v TERRA beats a winning week in any other aspect of the blogosphere, so here's Kelso with a fat smile on his face looking forward to robust competition from a worthy handicapper down below. But as a post-script to this silly contretemps, and with a famous gambler in mind, I cop to being neurotic and paranoid, but the interested student will google "mike matusow conviction drug" and see how smart an idea it is to answer an overt request for drugs from a stranger. Kelso did not ride into town on a truckload of tomatoes.

I've out apologized Dick Durbin on this totally trivial issue and am glad to be back where I belong -- handicapping, betting and dueling with one of the best, though neither of us has shown much to be sure. And as far as that other stuff goes -- THAT'S ENOUGH NO MORE.

More interesting things for my beautiful son to process when he reads all this and tries to make sense of the wretchedness of the America of his early childhood. Ego. Greed. Religion. War. Hate. Punishment. Right, Left and Center. It didn't matter. Fun? Never! That's what it was like, boy. You and your buddies playing the Nintendo DS baseball leagues and trading the Pokemon cards at recess had way more fun than any American adult whose last name wasn't Bush or Cheney. Consider yourself lucky to be on the way to being half-Panamanian.

Kelso's Nuts love you