WEEK 8 OF KELSO V Lady Judith Francesca de la Samlð, The Oracle at Acheron NCAA Football Handicapping Contest

FINAL WEEK OF REGULAR SEASON

TOP FIGURE COMING OUT OF WEEK 7: LJFDELSTOA (1.42) leads KELSO (16.16)

KELSO

NAVY [-14-105] over ARMY

ARMY/NAVY [>65 OVER-105]

FRESNO STATE/NMSU [UNDER 66"-101]

UCLA [+20-110] over USC

UCLA [+940] over USC

ARIZONA STATE [-7 -102] over Arizona

HAWAII [-14-107] over Washington

North Texas [-2"-105] FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL

TENNESSEE/LSU [>OVER 60"-105]

MISSOURI [+3-104] over Oklahoma


LJFDELSTOAA


NEVADA -7.5 [-1.12] LOUISIANA TECH

NORTH TEXAS -2.5 [-1.05] FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL

FRESNO STATE -12.5 [-1.08] NEW MEXICO STATE

NAVY -14 [-1.06] ARMY

RUTGERS +2.5 [+1.00] LOUISVILLE

OKLAHOMA -3 [-1.06] MISSOURI

PITTSBURGH +28 [-1.02] WEST VIRGINIA

VIRGINIA TECH -4.5 [-1.05] BOSTON COLLEGE

LSU -7.5 [-1.01] TENNESSEE

HAWAII -14 [-1.10] WASHINGTON

Some days you're the windshield. Some days you're the bug. She and I have three matchups this week, so my regular season comes down to what's effectively a very weak re-draw with Mizzou heads-up over Oklahoma and -- Why did I ever think it would be different? How could it possibly be different? -- with the Baby-Blue-And-Gold outright over USC. U-C-L-A, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT. After all the palaver, I end up for my season with a major conference dog which happens to be my alma mater in a crosstown rivalry game just like every other bachelor-party weekend douchebag betting $20/game in Las Vegas. What's next, voting Republican? Oy gevalt.

Well. Alright, then. Both teams outperfomed by a lot last week. Both are eligible to bounce. Here's hoping SC bounces a whole lot more than the gentlemanly, dignified scholar-athletes of Hilgard Avenue do.

I know I've been channeling Steve Serby in these write-ups but, fuck it, better him than Andrew Sullivan, si o no? Cierto!

Kelso's Nuts love you