...was written in the 1980s by the great Earl Weaver and so it is. We will have a full reckoning of the HELL v TERRA NCAA gridiron handicapping contest and the HELL v TERRA 3-WAY Bowl Handicapping contest shortly. Your Uncle Kelso has been tremendously busy with normal work, 3 pending business deals, and the prospect of a friend running for the CdP equivalent of City Council. So bear with me.
With reference to the title of this post, I humbly admit that being school-housed by THE ORACLE has caused some revision in my thinking. While I'll always be wedded to the work of Newton, Leibnitz, the Bernoullis, Gauss, Galton, Markowitz, Black and Scholes, and Rene Descartes, I've begun wondering if there wasn't some merit in this "Cone Of Understanding" (El Cono del entendimiento) and have created my own crude version from palm fronds, coca leaves and dried Sargento fish, and have gotten some decent signals from the future. It surely won't be a perfect rendition, but I thought the "Cono" gave me a pretty decent listen to Barack Obama's November 2008 concession speech. I share what I picked up with all my good friends here.
"Greeting, fellow Americans, fellow Iowans, fellow Judeo-Christians...[thunderous-applause]...I just got off the phone with both President-Elect Giuliani and Vice-President Elect Huckabee...[scattered boos]...please, some respect, please...And I just want to say that my wonderful running-mate, Senator Lieberman...[thunderous applause]....and I congratulated both President-Elect Giuliani and Vice-President Elect Huckabee on their spectacular victory this evening...[mixed boos and cheers]...Joe and I both believe we played no small part in ensuring that 'America's Mayor' will now be 'America and The World's President'...[thunderous applause]...All four of us have been strong believers in the folly of the tired partisan politics of yesteryear...[thunderous applause]...and to that end, friends, this is an evening not to despair, but to rejoice! To say 'thanks' to a 'MIGHTY GOD' who guilded all of our hands...[thunderous, sustained applause]...Thank you, thank you...thank you all who have been so supportive since the tragic events of September 11...[absolute silence followed by ear-splitting sustained applause]...
Friends, I have some exciting news to share. Because President-Elect Giuliani and I shared the 'non-partisan, post-racial vision' which will engender a new America though not one any less remarkable that the 8 marvelous years we've enjoyed under President Bush's masterful leadership....[steady applause]...thank you, thank you very much...Because President-Elect Giuliani and I shared this 'non-partisan, post-racial vision,' he has graciously planned to appoint Senator Lieberman as his new Director Of The Office Of Homeland Security ...[roof-raising applause]...and myself as his new Director Of The Office Of Housing And Urban Development and has tasked me with the job of not only closing the United Nations building but privatizing it, and re-naming Daj Hammarskoja Plaza.......CHARLES LINDBERGH PLAZA in honor of a truly great AMERICAN...[tremendous din]....thanks, thank you, thanks...President-Elect Giuliani is a non-partisan in the best sense of the word
...yes indeed, friends, a new day is dawning, and though it unmistakably is and we must forget the divisive partisan politics of the Franklin Roosevelt, Harry Truman, John F. Kennedy, Lydon Johnson, Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton years...[thunderous applause]...the past is nothing if not a good teacher and for that reason, President-Elect Giuliani, Vice-President Elect Huckabee, Senator Lieberman and I will look back to a better time in world history; to the orderly years of the 30's and 40's...we mean of course the 1930's and 1940's in Western Europe, Germany especially...[mild applause]...and the highly efficient, highly productive, highly humane, and highly moral 1830s and 1840s of the Confederate States of The United States Of America...it's their night if it's anyone's! [thunderous applause]...while my focus as President-elect Giuliani's Director Of The Office Of Housing And Urban Development will be in continuing his marvelous work as Mayor Of The Big Apple in containing the poisonous Negro Problem and to quote a worthy, yet limited man, former President Bill Clinton...[boos]...I will assure you that I will focus like a laser beam on the terrible problems of Negro-On-White crime and rampant homosexuality....I know Joe's passionate belief in The Unitary Executive will ensure that his interest will always be that of The United States Of America and of God himself......
THE SIGNAL FADES A BIT HERE...BUT MY CONO DEL ENTENDIMIENTO IS HARDLY AS DEVELOPED AS THE ORACLE'S IS.
Kelso's Nuts love you
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3 comments:
Best of all was something I couldn't write about until tonight. The night before the NH primary I got a call from a guy who works for a councilman in San Miguelito, which is kind of like the East LA of Panama City. He told me "la mujer de Clinton -- cuatro puntos adelante." So, I said "estas equivocado, Clinton esta cuatro puntos ATRAS." He said: "Que no! La campana de Clinton dijo que el Sr Mark Penn tomaba una prueba que enseno que ella va a ganar por cuatro puntos -- directamente de la boca del Presidente Torrijos y los gerentes del PRD." You or Spartacus can explain what that means, but the point was that because the Clintons are so close to Torrijos and the PRD here, and (I'm guessing) Toro wants to do the trade deal with her as president and not Bush, and the Clintons have helped out with the up-coming by-elections, that President Torrijos is getting the straight steam from the Clinton presidential campaign.
I LOVED listening to the CNN experts like Bob Woodward giving the post-mortem knowing that a random, minor, ward-heeler in a poor neighborhood in Panama City knew in advance what NONE OF THEM KNEW OR KNOW ABOUT NEW HAMPSHIRE.
How fucking cool is that?
At any rate, I was so sure that my friend here was mistaken that I didn't re-bet Clinton at the huge price but waited until about 5% of the precint totals were in when I was sure he was right, but I was still able to lay -$1.10 and -$1.20
They were having a party tonight. I called him up to thank him and he said (I'll translate this one) "sorry for beinga couple of points off!"
Well, two can play at this game ...
Je suis très soulagé aux résultats. En avant et vers le haut avec Hillary !!
Palm fronds and coca leaves make excellent receivers and conductors of temporal waves. The Cone of Understanding is a delicate instrument by not too complex made of common metals rimmed in metalllic hydrogren. Lots of static and crackling to start but end the end you can get a realtively clear mind picture as you have done.
I am sick of Joementum in all its forms. What I want from the Stream of Time is irrelevant but if I see Obama winning I am going straight to the Directat and have a long closed door session with the people in our government who swap ideas with the people in your government. Somebody will have to brief Mr Obama very well for the US to get through his first term. But why concern myself with things I KNOW will never happen. Hillary=lock=American respect globally restored. Still no change on that terror attack on US soil within 90 days with a 47% probability.
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