CELEBRITY THURSDAY AND MUCH MORE TO COME...

...but Kelso has to get the latest Bill Cosby screed against his own in there, before link comes down. Just for background, Bill Cosby is a regular at the Playboy mansion, a whoremaster, completely vice-ridden and an all-round scumbag. How he dare lecture anyone, especially those in dire circumstances? If Kelso were a head Jew In Charge back in Lodz, Poland, he wouldn't be lecturing to ghetto dwellers about how they have to get with the Nazi program, that's for sure.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051020/ap_en_tv/people_cosby

Kelso will celebrate this hypocrite's death with a blow-out party to be sure.

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The great thing about blogging is that while one's thoughts are captured in the moment, and Kelso sees no reason to censor what he wrote in the wee small hours following a poor card session in which he fought his game all night, there's always time for contemplation and reflection. While the above still obtains with regard to Cliff Huxtable, Kelso is not sure how brain-addled he'd become with the violent death of his own son at the hands of a wannable Russian gangster. Without a billion-dollar career to protect, he'd probably exact terrible vengeance or at least make a few phone calls to start. Other than that, he'd probably become catatonic or a drug-addict but probably not a lecturing-hectoring bore, displacing his frustrations upon his less fortunate brethren and sistren. Who can say how someone is supposed to react to that? And if it were true that there was more to the story than the Russian kid killed Huxtable fils for grins, and that the son was involved in something either foolish or sinister, it would only make a Dad's pain worse. One hopes that Cosby actually BELIEVES all the bullshit he's spraying, but somehow, sadly, it feels to Kelso like more "bootstrap crap." Vaya con Dios, Cosby. Kelso didn't mean what he said about a party in celebration of your passing. As Kelso doesn't steam or go on tilt in poker, he was just letting OFF some steam at his own frustrations at the card table. Kelso is sure you understand given the hours you've put in with the Hef.

And since we're on the celebrity trashing tip, here's a reprise of the Bono-At-The-White-House link:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051019/en_nm/bono_bush_dc;_ylt=AkLto113tzkwnRlfFID.lRTK.nQA;_ylu=X3oDMTA3YXYwNDRrBHNlYwM3NjI-

Bono is a dick. No more to be said. Religious crazy. Stone-Cold fascist conservative. Kelso will hold a ritual burning of all U2 CDs in his possession. He will trash Bono and his hideous group at every opportunity and is presently wishing that when Bono dies, the Lord of his fantasy will rip his head off and use it for a Gaelic Football, reattach the head and do it over and over again for all eternity. Fuck you in the ass sideways, Bono. Die soon. Kelso would like to see you on the dole and all of your billions actually feeding the sick and starving in Africa. Kelso's not a religious man, but if he could pray, he'd pray for a nice liver or pancratic tumor for Mr. Bono, or given his professed love of all things African, maybe HIV or Ebola or Dengue or something like that...

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Contemplation and reflection in Bono's case, however, only brings forth more vitriol. Our celebrities didn't get mixed up in your fight, stay the hell out of ours. Well, that's not true, actually -- ever heard of The Mitchell Accords, dumb-fuck? Kelso would pass Bono off as a bog-standard rich foreign rock star who's done less damage to be sure than Arnold Schwarzenegger has in similar circumstances, except that he's really playing with fire here. Does the Bush Crime Family blame him for the "conversion" of Paul O'Neill? And, now, unlike in the Wilson/Plame/Rove.Libby/Cheney/Miller affair, they have been able to scare the twerp? If so, that would be a big mistake on the part of both Bono and the Bush Crime Family. O'Neill was always a "wet," more of a Libertarian than a Right-Winger, even his musings on Social Security as channelled through the odious Amity Schlaes in the Financial Times were to the left of anything Bono believes in. Perhaps, it was spending time with Bono in Africa that moved O'Neill to the left, when he saw what a true Nazi was! And Kelso don't mean George W. Bush.

At bottom, the Kelso advice is boycott U2, turn a deaf ear to Bono's meddling in any affairs other than those having to do with music, and also tune out the self-loathing ravings of Bill Cosby because whatever his sins, vices and hypocrisies, he's suffered plenty, and Kelso's willing to believe that it's the brain-pain talking and the Cos is not an Uncle Tom.

Now how's that for a departure from yesterday's parochialism?

Finally, Kelso notes with sadness that Mr. Roderick Johnson has lost his lawsuit against the Texas Prison Board for failing to protect him from becoming sexual chattel. It is the fervent hope of the-one-man-army here at the Nuts, that Mr. Johnson will appeal the decision and the Stop Prison Rape movement will not suffer.

Kelso's Nuts love you.