"WE ARE THE WORLD, WE ARE THE CHILDREN..."
You can pretty much insert your own jokes here, but Kelso will take you by the hand. Remember Michael Jackson singing that little ditty? Remember the bazillions Bob Geldof stole from the USA FOR AFRICA scam? Remember where Bono -- a certifiable Christian Crazy -- was last week? (One hint: it starts with White and ends with House). And now in a week when Manhattan's own Patrick Fitzgerald put on the hurtin, the crown prince of the Left-Libertarians votes with his feet. Or more properly his Iron Ass. Thanks to dedicated Flopper of the Nuts, "G", for this one:
http://contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/mndwebpages/eminem%20ignored%20bonos%20live%208%20calls
As everyone knows by now, Eminem is one of the heroes of this blog and always will be so we start with a pure bias here. Kelso has said it before and will never stop saying it: the man is the Walt Whitman of our generation but we're too caught up in the moment to notice. There is no doubt that he's profane and dissolute in lifestyle, but has there been a more consistent pro-peace advocate among the big-time stars? And unlike Barbra Streisand and Warren Beatty and Rob Reiner and Al Franken, Eminem actually has some influence with millions of kids. He has never held back. Not, especially not, in the aftermath of 9/11. Not after "Mission Accomplished". Not after any the ersatz "glory" of our vile wars. Before Bush was even elected his instincts were pitch-perfect, going after the repulsive Hillary Clinton and Moby.
Why Moby? Well, it had to do with a Grammy Award beef in which Moby called Eminem out for homophobia because of the latter's cracks about Elton John. And how did that turn out. The two estimable artists, Mr. Mathers and Elton, made their peace, and Moby? How's his career working out? If anyone wants background on that little shit, googling "The Zambonis" "New York Observer" "Moby" will give you some background. Bottom line: Moby is a great collector of both Nazi and ante-bellum memoribilia, which is a nice way of saying vintage grinning-pickaninnie-piggy-banks and the like. Fucking foul. William Bennett foul. And The Zambonis? High school classmates of Moby from Greenwich, CT, whose songs about hockey in styles from Surf Punk to Polka are hilarious and completely safe listening for the whole family. Oh, yeah, and they're also lefties who called Moby (a born-again Christian Crazy himself, btw) out for his closet racism. Pots and Kettles. Glass Houses and Stones.
And as for Bono, well...(and this too has appeared on the Nuts before)...when he and former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill took their famous tour of Africa, did anyone realize that beneath the clothing, O'Neill was the progressive and Bono the religio-fascist freak? Kelso disagrees with Mr. O'Neill's views on Social Security, but he admires his Left-Libertarian take on things and his honesty and balls to take on Bush when Bush seemed invinceable.
Geldof? No idea about his religious beliefs, but he's just a mountebank who feeds off the suffering of others. Thought we'd buried that guy back when W's dad was in office. But no, when there's money to be made off of public tragedy, up he pops. I "Don't Like Mondays," or you, asshole.
Don't know if anyone followed the string from the Friday posting, but if not, a number of great points came out of it, probably the best being a nice heuristic device from regular Flopper Of The Nuts, Harvey, who said that you know we'll have a good president when the Inauguration entertainment program is something you actually want to see and hear. Sounds about right to Kelso.
The other good point he brought up was that back in 2000 Kelso was the only person he knew who preferred Bush to Gore (ended up voting for Nader)and was NOT SHY about that opinion. Absolutely true. Kelso thought that had come through via various nuanced comments over these 75 postings, but in looking back, Kelso realizes it had not. It was a bad call, but reasonable given the available information Kelso had at the time. Kelso will not rehash here. Best to read the string. Suffice it to say that when Flopper Of The Nuts, "Country" (Editor deluxe and King-Of-Small-College sports betting) profiled Kelso in a fall 2000 issue of Maximum Golf magazine, Kelso was SURE Bush would invite K to the White House to teach him the ins-and-outs of golf handicapping. Kelso realized that fantasy and any hopes for a Bush presidency were deader than...you know!...when John Ashcroft was nominated and confirmed as Attorney General. Let The Mighty Eagle Soar.
Enough politics. On to fun stuff. Assuming that the Floppers Of The Nuts who like a flutter got fat yesterday off of the NCAA pix. Kelso re-shows his NFL list for today.
* BROWNS
* BENGALS
* JAGUARS
* DOLPHINS
* BUCS
* BILLS
As Kelso is in confessional mode today, he cops to another hypocrisy. He has always believed that the scholarly work of the two finance professors from the Simon School Of Business At The University Of Rochester who proved that the NFL point-spread market was more efficient than the U.S. Treasury Bond market, and, as a result, has stayed away from regular season pro football betting. This season Mrs. K. entered a pretty good-sized, season-long, and week-to-week office pool, so K has been helping and as he does have perfectly serviceable NFL model for futures and playoff games, has been unable to resist backing his better plays and they've shown a decent profit to date. Mrs. K., by the way, is 2nd of 25 a couple of 1/1000ths out of first.
Enjoy a sunny -- not Bloody! -- Sunday, everybody.
Kelso's Nuts love you.
9 comments:
Kelso, no comment on the Tissue today -- but it has one of the most interesting articles in awhile: XXL panty-girl Bumiller carrying water for the President as he lays the groundwork to CUT LOOSE CHENEY. And blame Iraq on flawed information that supposedly came from the VP's office. Now that Bush personally has "taken over," things will get sorted out.
This is a sort of Reagan Iran-contra storyline (though unlike Reagan, Bush does not have beginning-stage Alzheimers to make it plausible). Cheney may or may not resign, but mark my words, he will be kept as far from W. as possible for the next 3 years.
Re Eminem: One prop to Kelso. I remember walking with Kelso on 52nd and 8th a few years back and him saying there was a new white rapper coming out that was one of the greatest things he had ever heard, and would blow everybody away. Amazing call.
Of course Kelso also had high hopes for Pimpadelic. Guess they were just ahead of their time. Madonna ripped off the pimp style and made it palatable -- ironic, since on that music website Kelso linked to, she accuses Gwen Stefani of ripping her off. This is knid of like Rich Little accusing John Byner of plagiarism, no?
Thanks for that. Pimpadelic were indeed excellent, could have set the standard in the redneck-rap genre...they were tons better than Kid Rock and good guys, too. You met them at the Bowery, no? As an insider to the situation, Kelso's view is that Tommy Boy's leadership didn't really get them, and although K had a huge dog in the fight, K thinks she did her best: she tried to make them an issue in the 2000 Campaign but neither Rove nor Brazile bit. While, the publicity work was good; she made hay out of the bad reviews and exploited the good ones. The overall marketing effort especially on the financial side was lame. Really only Mrs. K and Max understood and they ought to have had some carry given the good result from Everlast's first solo. An opportunity to make money and change the genre missed. Too bad.
Did the blog pre-Tissue today, and the Bono/Eminem thing seemed more compelling for a change of pace given the overload of national politics this week. Kelso has, however, read the Week In Review and will be good to go on your Cheney stuff, Bumiller, Nagourney, Brooks and Kristof and "Bitch Tits" -- that was a great one, btw -- manana.
Great analogy on Madonna/Gwen :: Rich Little/John Byner. Kelso view: Madonnna a classic in the early days, No Doubt and Gwen solo better now though never as good as early Madonna. Besides, to coin a phrase, in a heads-up of the fake Anglo versus the real Anglo (well, Australian) always go with the real one.
Ps to the inauguration show: the New Pornographers can't really play because they're Canadian. I accept that it should be all American acts. I would substitute Wilco. Heck, you might even be able to coax an Uncle Tupelo reunion since it is the President-elect asking.
Uncle Tupelo? Jeff Tweedy and Jay Farrar are far to the left of Howard Dean. You've listend to the lyrics of them seperately and in tandem. The only way you get an Uncle Tupelo reunion is if a Missouri-based youngish Democrat wins.
You're my NFL guru, but two outta six means my kids don't eat.
FB
You do realize that if Cheney is cut loose the new VP will be the Republican's nominee in 2008.
Kelso, you really need to listen to Henry Rollins rant on Bono and doing an interview in the studio where U2 records in Ireland.
Dear Anonymous:
(1) 2-4? It happens to the best; it happens to the rest. Kelso recommends Ramen Noodles and Hamburger Helper for your kids in these situations.
(2) It doesn't matter. Unless the Democrats can figure out a way around Hillary Clinton, the Republicans are the STONE COLD NUTS in 2008. Kelso has a great Republican longshot for the nomination from an A-/B+ source ex of Empower America, but he's not revealing the identity until K's full position is down.
(3) Kelso LOVES Henry Rollins as always has since Black Flag days. If you have links, please provide them.
Post a Comment