THE DOOMSDAY BOOK IS OPEN...

...and the Bush Adminsitration is writing in the names.

Here's the link: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051115/ts_nm/bush_iraq_dc

This is an absolutely brillant tactical move. About 2/3 of the Democratic party guessed wrong on all of this, not the WMD bullshit, everybody knew that was crap, but on the "9/11 changed everything" canard. John Kerry laughed at Howard Dean in a debate when the latter said that capturing Saddam Hussein was irrelevant to America's safety. Well, who's the fool? Dean is the chairman of the party; Kerry is another in a long line of loser quislings who blew an easy win by showing no balls at all. Kelso is thinking of Humphrey, Dukakis, and Gore especially. George H.W. Bush, coming off Iraq I, and a pretty good presidency, scared off everybody except Clinton, who with all of the baggage relished the fight. When he had to feint (yeah, yeah, "family values" whatever) he did and when he had to fight to win he did. True, Pappy ran into a buzz-saw and was totally overmatched in the brain-pan, but W was always a paper tiger. Gore and Kerry were just too chickenshit to go for it. Or worse: they agreed with Bush in essence.

Kelso sez "go for it, George." Your back is against the wall, call all of those weaklings down. They deserve it. Kelso does not often watch the Sunday chat shows, but he will this week to be sure, watching Hillary, Rockefeller, Kerry, Gephardt, whomever, tryng to wriggle out of this one with the "we were deceived" garbage. What fun. Dean ought to get around to the leadership and say "stop fucking with me or I'll join Bush and call your faggoty asses down, too." Barbara Lee, Cynthia McKinney, Sheila Jackson-Lee, TK, Dennis Kucinich and all the others who stood up, now take a bow. Dean can win the 2008 election for Edwards or somebody if they'll just let him. Hillary can't win straight-up against any Republican because the right thinks she's too left and the left thinks she too right and no man left or right will vote for her. That is what unites EVERY American man of all political stripes. We loathe her. And it's not a sexist thing -- it's the lecturing and hectoring. Right wing guys have no problem with the Repubican women who stand up and Left-wing guys have their heroines, too. Kelso thinks Hillary's (a) a committed conservative, not an opportunist and (b) scared to death of Dean. There's a huge opportunity for a strong Democrat who actually wants it and is willing to fight for it.

It's becoming clearer and clearer to Kelso that there was no Bush conspiracy per se re 9/11 (try to get 10 people to agree on what to have for lunch). The idea was to leave the Saudis alone, plan on Iraq II, use law enforcement to emphasize control of vice to play to the base, ignore the obvious and if the Pearl Harbor moment comes, let it. They didn't count on how awful it would be and probably do feel pretty bad every now and then about that part, but they sure don't feel bad about hitting the jackpot. That so many Democrats went along is tragic and Kelso is happy a whole bunch of them are on the barbecue now. Christ, Lieberman looks like a hero. At least he never wavered a moment on the harsh Right-Wing agenda at any point. He was on board with Bush and the PNAC and religio-fascist plan from the bounce and his conscience ought to be clear. He's a repulsive putz, but there's not an ounce of hypocrite in the guy.

Finally, a few provocative words about the state of Israel, because there was plenty of American Jewish complicity in this Iraq tits-up. Kelso has never been to Israel, but he has been to New England if you know what he means and Kelso thinks ya do. So, Kelso absolutely, positively cannot relate to this. Having never been there and having never met an Israeli dove, Kelso relies on the cultural stereotypes: the men are about half-Arab, low-class thugs who wear jewelry and cologne and micro-mini briefs and the women have that same Mediterranean snootiness that make Spanish and Italian women so goddamned annoying. Fellahs, we soft, White, rich American Jewish elitists see the con-games coming a mile off. So, stop the shell-games. Ladies, shave the fucking moustaches and then you can throw your noses in the air, like the Spanish and Italian girls do. There used to be a kind of ironic joke around here that went something like this: Go into an Israeli electronics shop in NYC and the salespeople all call you "my friend;" go into an Arab electronics shop and it's the same shit. So, if everyone's "their friend," why all the fighting?

At bottom, Israel has nuclear weapons, a strong economy, US aid, AIPAC to raise extry money and fuck with our political process, and velly, velly strong back-door relations with the Saudi royals. So, stop being such pathetic crybabies. It's vulgar and unbecoming. Kelso is hardly self-hating. He has an ego as big as Texas if you haven't figured that out yet. That dog won't hunt.

From the goodbye and good-riddance department. Here's the link.

http://www.nydailynews.com//front/story/365726p-311422c.html

Here's some news for MVP Alex Rodriguez. We never wanted you around; we only wanted to take your money because you can't play Hold 'Em to save your life. You suck. You're bad, basically because you're a dumb jock and the majority of players are college graduates and bona fide intellectuals. Nobody had any desire to corrupt you or MLB. All you brought all of us is anxiety and trouble. Your losses were hardly worth it. Now please honor your pledge and NEVER, EVER, EVER come back. It really doesn't matter anyway because in addition to being on Bud Selig and George Steinbrenner's shitlist, you are also on the blacklist. Imagine that. The great Alex Rodriguez is barred from every club in New York. It would be easier for John Ashcroft to get a membership than you, asshole, but don't worry about it. You're better off. You never had a shot to win, anyway. Best to work this through with your shrink and face the facts. Poker is a game of intellectual skill and while you may be the Honus Wagner of our generation that doesn't make you smart. Just as in the John Hughes movies of the 1980s sometimes the nerds beat the jocks. Now, do the right thing, A-Rod, and advise Ben Affleck, Robert Iler, Jennifer Tilly and the rest of your celebrity cunt brethren and sistren to stay away. We are way better off without you.

Kelso's Nuts love you.