FLACCIDITY DAY (pun intentional)
Here's the round-up:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051109/pl_nm/election_usa_dc
So, Kelso's hat is off to Mayor Mike, whose stewardship of the city was Manhattan and FIRE-centric which was to be expected. Public schools no worse than under Giuliani. Race relations much better than under Giuliani. Public safety better than under Giuliani. The "Freddy's Turn" thing is now over and the Democratic party can punch the ticket of one of the weaker campaigners it has ever fielded in the history of the party. Adios, Fernando, Kelso never liked you much but you forced him to vote for you three times. That's it.
On the other hand (and a heavy one it is), damn you Bloomberg for -- despite your "fuck-you" money -- still having a lump of coal where your heart should be. Played butt-boy to Bush: hosted the convention, cut off protest with strong force whenever it was required, ginned-up two major false terror alarms to support Bush, gave copious bucks to some of the ill-est cats around (DeLay, Abramoff, Reed, etc.), but WORST OF ALL used a Giuliani tactic, messing around with the poker clubs pre-election. Kelso is guessing that Bloomberg, term-limited out of Gracie, will be looking for higher office which means: watch for him to start attending a velly, velly conservative shul on the regular in about two years, to "reconsider" his position on choice, and to switch from pro-war with reservations to Rambo in a little tailored suit.
From the HEH-HEH Department, a poker-player of Kelso's acquaintance, offered the opinion that Bloomberg would win by 40 percentage points. Kelso didn't miss a beat. He said "fuck that noise, give me Ferrer and 27 1-2 points right now at evens and we're done!" We shook on it. Jeez, but that was easy and proves once again that leftists make the best pure capitalists and right-wingers make the best Stalinists.
Congrats to the citizens of the fine state of New Jersey for election Jon Corzine as Governor over the hideous,corrupt, religio-fascist Doug Forrester. Virginians and Californias enjoy your Flaccidity Day by celebrating the election of Kaine and the defeat of Muscle-Man-No-Balls's (we all know what steriods do now, don't we?) strong-arm ballot initiative, respectively. Kelos believes that all of the sexual rumors about the fool were intentional to deflect attention from the likelihood that he's really carrying uvitas and not huevos in that sac.
That Corzine was able to defeat another well-financed candidate while brushing off a "morals" thing like so much lint, suggests the man may make a pretty good President some day and don't forget that he has enough money to tell the DLC to take a walk. Kelso is willing to give him DUDE OF THE WEEK right now.
Meanwhile a few miles due West, THE ISSUE continues to boil. Kelso has no reason NOT to think that Terrell Owens is a big jerk, but how would you all feel given a different team which is not quite living up to expectations, the Jacksonville Jaguars, and maybe let's say Kyle Brady said the team would do a whole lot better if Brett Favre were QB instead of Phil Leftwich? Admit it, fellahs, you'd say he was giving the team a "much needed kick-in-the-pants" and showing "real leadership abilities" and "putting 'team first,'" wouldn't you, bubbelahs? Your Uncle Kelso sees into that soul! Oh yeah, Brady's White by the way.
And at the round-about of politics, race and sports, here's this weeks football:
NCAA
* CONNECTICUT +12 OVER PITTSBURGH
* MEMPHIS +19 OVER TENNESSEE
* MINNESOTA -5 OVER MICHIGAN STATE
* WISCONSIN - 2 1/2 OVER IOWA
* CENTRAL FLORIDA +7 1-2 OVER ALABAMA-BIRMINGHAM
* UCLA -3 1-2 OVER ARIZONA STATE
* ALABAMA +3 OVER LOUISIANA STATE
* OREGON -4 OVER WASHINGTON
* ARKANSAS STATE -3 OVER TROY STATE
* COLORADO STATE -8 OVER SAN JOSE STATE (still O.T.B. but a play when it goes up)
NFL
* BEARS -13 OVER 49ers
* COLTS -17 1-2 OVER TEXANS
Kelso's Nuts love you very much.
3 comments:
Kelso, yes, I understand your ironic stance; however, for the record, I have to to say, MUST say, that just because Jon Corzine
"was able to was able to defeat another well-financed candidate while brushing off a "morals" thing like so much lint,"
does NOT not make him presidential MATERIAL.
It says absolutely nothing, nada, zilch, about Corzine The Man or Corzine The Candidate. What it really shows is an electoriate that is becoming savvy to the ugly machinations of the political machines and that is basically saying ... ENOUGH.
Corzine is just another person person who has bought an office. And in his case, not one, but two. And in this case, he was lucky enough to have an opponent as repulsive as Forrester. Give the people of New Jersey a break. He was the proverbial best of two evils. And New Jersey chose Less Evil.
Nothing more. Nothing less.
G:
All good points, but EVIL is a little extreme. Neither Corzine nor Forrester is EVIL. Corzine is an ambitious rich guy with something of a heart; Forrester is an ambitious rich guy who's not quite as kind, rich or intelligent as Corzine is.
Corzine's voting record and essays in The Nation speak for themselves. He's fine as Democrats go, and would probably make an excellent president. It will be very interesting to see how he governs the state and how he deals with the perenial NJ briar patches: taxes and Cuba.
At least we know he won't sell himself for a plasma TV, a couple of Armani suits, and a Rolex.
Kelso, Yes, you are right. A bit of an over-reaction on my part. Neither of them can fairly be described with the "E" word. I was feeling very curmudgeonly when I wrote that. It happens to The Best of Us and it happens to The Rest of Us. (wow).
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