A CHEAPIE

Kelso got some nice props off-blog on the Weak-in-Review games stuff from one of the new friends in his life he loves and respects a ton. Being lazy, Kelso will repeat his response to this fellow here and maybe do a little NFL.

The NYT bridge column is a disgrace. It should be twice as long and the
additional half should analyze how they got to contract with less emphasis
on the play. Kelso guesses it's one of those dirty little secrets -- like the
poker coverage on ESPN shows only the "showbiz" hands -- editing out 99.99%
of the hands, when many of the cooler, more instructive hands happen in
mid-tourney situations involving non-premium hands. The truth of bridge is
that given the bidding and the first two tricks, a lot of hands are
"claimed" at contract or "set" against contract, and if played out, it's
totally pro-forma. Beginners assume the play is more important than the
contract which is natural but absurd in its simple-mindedness. Some insights into the better
partnerships favorite conventions would also have some celebrity appeal: If
for example, Richie won't "transfer" while Cayne can't envision NOT having
transfers in his arsenal, that would be fun, inside, celebrity stuff that
would definitely jazz things up for the mugs.

McManus on Poker is helping nobody. He's just showing off for non-players and doing
nothing for actual players of all skill levels. Case in point: In the NYC
clubs, there is much more smooth-calling than there is in the higher stakes
games out of town. The latter gives an aggressive player like Kelso a
chance to get off and not get trapped into bad situations. The
smooth-calling had been vexing Kelso for the better part of the 9 months he's
been playing seriously, and finally the penny dropped. If you are on a pure
or semi-move and make it -- say -- 100 to go on the flop and are called, you
may treat that call as you would a large raise in Las Vegas or Cali; assume
you're beaten and just hope the turn makes you. If no, then check it and
throw it away with the first sou that comes into the pot.

Now, why couldn't McManus have provided that simple analysis a few columns
in? Would have saved Kelso and legions of aggressive NYC players 1000s in learning this going in. Kelso have two
plausible explanations for the absence of this type of analysis: (1) giving the fuddy-duddiness of the Tissue Of Lies, McManus
cannot acknowledge that big cash games are being played here (2) McManus is
thoroughly tournament and celebrity-centric. The latter, of course, is the
height of silliness because large cash games is where you learn your craft,
develop your table presence and grow your testicles and increasingly
ovaries, and tournaments -- while fun -- are generally a losing proposition
and the capped downside creates distortions that do not appear in the the
purer cash games.

On to gin. It's too bad it's our grandfathers' game because it's a
beautiful game to play and even watch. Go check out The Flamingo Kid
sometime and see what Kelso means. Some random gin issues: (1) if your oppenent
is dealing and the knock card is As (spades double) how much of a concession
should you ask for to put up a score for the game in your column(s) and a
box in exchange for dealing a fresh hand with a fresh knock-card? (2) At
what point is it right to pick up a middle-sized card off the discard to not
fill but rather to put you on a four-hit meld and make your opponent hold
onto two or more cards deep into the game?

Scrabble. Would it kill the Tissue to run Scrabble Grams, Jumbles, 2 & 3 letter
word lists and basic tactics like the "price" you need to leave a naked
vowel next to a premium tile?

Sorry for verbosity.

NFL

* BEARS -7 OVER PACKERS
* RAVENS -9 OVER TEXANS
* LIONS +2 1-2 OVER VIKINGS
* CARDINALS -3 OVER 49ERS
* REDSKINS -3 OVER RAMS

Kelso's Nuts love you.