KELSO HAS A PAINFUL SINUS INFECTION AND HAS NOT YET EMERGED FROM HIS THANKSGIVING FOOD COMA...

...so he's a little pissed-off and loaded for bear.

Let's start with an esoteric conspiracy theory and then move on. From the late 1980s through the early 1990s, the Municipal Bond departments of major and minor investment banks were known as "Chocolate Wall Street," in that the strong Black MBAs could find work there, make good money without having to sell out or conform too badly or have to hear a lot of racist shit and behind-the-back snickering. This was not because the houses were so kind, it was because the major U.S. cities had Black mayors and a strong African-American bond man or woman could be way more effective than their White counterparts when dealing with that generation of mayors: Dinkins, Webb, Rice, Brown, Archer, Young, Bradley, Schmoke, Barry, James etc. It worked well all-around. Everybody made money and there was opportunity to move out of Munis into the general fixed-income sales and trading world for the better earners.

Make no mistake about this, the White ruling class outside of Wall Street was hip to this and didn't like it on many levels. They are fuckheads who cannot abide black achievement outside of sports and entertainment. Christ, Magic Johnson and Russell Simmons can't abide Black achievement outside of sports and entertainment! So, the think tanks that brought you Iraq II, worked out a way to crack the Black hold on inner-city mayoralties for Repbulican and Conservative Democrats and fuck Chocolate Wall Street just for fun. The weapon was something called "Broken Windows" policing: a zero-tolerance policy for any violations civil and criminal of any kind, first promulgated by the repulsive James Q. Wilson and picked by the even-worse Bill Bennett and John DiIulio who wrote a book predicting that a new breed of young, Black male "superpredators" were set to invade the White urban enclaves. It was all total bullshit, of course, Bennett, DiIulio, Wilson and company turned out to be the "superpredators." And while some of you will credit this approach to the sharp reduction of crime and urban renaissance, please be aware that Rice's Seattle and Webb's Denver did no worse in that department than Giuliani's New York. And, of course, it reached it's apotheosis with the hated Giuliani. Moreover, what ignorant Whites never understood was that the Urban Black Male thing was a myth from the bounce. Kelso quotes Ice-T on the subject: "White people believe the gangs are after them. The gangs aren't even thinking about them."

Well, the whole fucking gin-up worked to a farthing and we got Giuliani, Bret Schundler, O'Malley, even Democrat Ed Rendell to some DLC extent and a whole series of White Fascist mayors in charge of big-cities and the hideous frat-boys back in the Muni departments. Come back, Jerry Springer, all is forgiven. And now, despite Giuliani and Bennett's multiple indiscretions, 9/11 has carved this attitude into marble.

Kelso loathes race prejudice. Poker always seems to come up on this blog, but it is the first wholly-integrated meritocracy that Kelso has encountered so Kelso will continue to use it as a beacon for social change. Of course, there is much truth in the ethnic stereotypes, but in poker it's always done in a self-depricating way. A Black guy might say to Kelso's in response to a raise "watch out, I'm a mugger, I'll raise you 100!" To which Kelso might say, "well, I'm a cheap Jew, so I fold." Cultures, races, religions, sexual orientations, economic classes, stoners and straights all meet with for the most part good will towards all and malice toward none. It's kind of hard to be a bigoted dick when you know you have to sit down with two gays, three blacks, a sikh, two women, two goys, and a gunnysack of Asians and Jews every night.

Now, Kelso is well aware that there is a strong current of ego, elitism, limousine liberalism, champagne socialism, and radical chic that runs through this blog. So, does Kelso think with all the eddication, etc., that he's better than anyone else White of lesser gifts? Well, yes and no. Kelso is certainly "better" than George Bush's famous "base," morally, ethically, and intellectually. Kelso is certainly "better" than most conservative pundits -- he's tons better than David Brooks even at writing, despite writing being Kelso's hobby and Brooks's bread-and-butter, and tons better than Thomas Friedman, Charles Krauthammer and the like. Is he "better" than the East Texas Navy Lieutenant -- pure product of Bush's base -- he plays with? Not a chance. The guys is about 20 IQ points smarter than Kelso and a far superior card player. Is he "better" than the young Northern Irish bartender who is the best "Hollywooder" and "mistake-player" Kelso has ever seen? No, he's not smarter than that guy and is less in control of his game. Is he better than a random CEO of right-wing political stripes of a mid-sized company? Probably not.

Does he think the poor deserve "special privileges?" You're fucking A, he does. And always will. A interesting proposition has been making its way around the "elite". Kelso first heard it from Kelso, Sr., and most recently heard it from a young criminal defense lawyer in the card game -- she's just done a huge fund-raise for a Legal Aid organization in a very toney suburb and has announced that "limousine liberalism works!" The idea is this: PAY AT RISK STUDENTS TO ACHIEVE AT ALL LEVELS OF SCHOOL. AND MAKE IT WORTHWHILE, SO THAT THERE'S AN ELEMENT OF "GETTING PAID, KEEPING IT REAL" OR WHATEVER FLOATS THEIR BOATS. SUCH THAT AT THE VERY TOP, A 13-YEAR OLD WHOSE HAS BEEN IN CUSTODY WHO FINISHES WITH A STRAIGHT-A AVERAGE MIGHT END UP WITH AS MUCH AS $100,000 CASH AND A FREE-RIDE IN COLLEGE. If 10% of the population fits that profile, you're talking about $50bn/annum, about a month and a half of this Iraq tits-up. End the war, cut back sharply on the bloated law-enforcement budget, and the budget of the Department of Fatherland Insecurity, stop "broken windows" policing and the prison industrial complex and this can be done WHILE STILL GIVING OUR BELOVED RICH THEIR PERMANENT TAX CUTS. Deal?

Now, considering that Kelso's forbears got nothing but tsuris from our beloved law enforcement apparatus and lives is a Blue-State which subsidizes those "rugged-individualists" of the Red-States (it's so honorable the way they reject those subsidies and all that pork, no?), Kelso probably shouldn't have to pay and certainly shouldn't have to pay for slavery reparations, he's willing to pony up anyway. You know how the fuck-heads don't like "their -- harrumph -- taxes" going to Public TV and Medicare, well, Kelso's sick and tired of his tax money going into Halliburton and Wackenhut's pockets. And that's why he'll ALWAYS be a limousine liberal.

Fuck "broken windows" policing. Total bullshit. Fuck Giuliani. Total racist fraud at right place right time. Fuck Hillary Clinton. Fascist nun dressed up in feminist gear. Shit, fuck every rich White including Kelso himself -- snobby-ass elitist dildo with no common touch whatsoever.

Kelso's Nuts love you.