ENDORSEMENTS

MAYOR: FREDDY FERRER. Nothing Bloomberg has done or not done -- OTHER THAN GO FULL-BORE REPUBLICAN DOWN TO DONATING $250K TO TO DELAY, for fuck's sake -- would really be worthy of tossing him in favor of a total non-entity like Ferrer, but when you are in Kelso's financial position and you feel kind of like you're nowhere near Mike and Magic and Russell's NY, something's wrong. Another cunt who got lucky because of 9/11. Christ, how many of these turds are there? Why didn't Kelso get lucky? Aww fuck it, Kelso did get a little lucky in a backdoor way having to do with the price of oil which is all too byzantine to get into here. He couldn't leave the house for a week, nevermind how limited his young son's life was. Add in the spate of pre-election raids of the NYC private card clubs (He's tough alright that "Timely Market Information Guy"!). About the best thing we can cay on Little Lord Faunt-Le-Roy is that he's not Giuliani and was once nice to Kelso Jr. Tissue Of Lies endorsement seals the deal. We nail our colors to the mast and go down with the Good Ship Fernando.

OTHER RACES:

STRAIGHT DEMOCRAT, except for the district in Queens that has that tool McCafferty or McCaffrey or whoever it was that proposed all that anti-sex-toy-shop crap during the age of Benito Giuliani. It actually worked out fine for Kelso, because his bend in the river was grandfathered-in and he has a panoply of sex shops to browse! So, fuck you, you pathetic moralist twat. Doesn't matter whom you pick against the raped-by-priest-now-ashamed-council-(um)-man, Republican opponent fine by Kelso.

PROP 2 (CLEAN-AIR, MASS TRANSIT BOND): YES

NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR: Jon Corzine...this is a pure lay-down hand. Forrester is not only a crook, he's also a Christian Crazy.

For California Floppers: Bend that poor excuse for a human being over, and reject all initiatives he supports.

A note on the Tissue Of Lies, James McManus's Poker column had some insights for once, a nice picture of Stu Ungar in his glory, and no bragging by McManus about how many stars he's beaten.

To borrow from Malloy: When the lights go out, Kelso gets David Brooks. It's one thing to be conservative, but there is no creature more repulsive than a wimpy, conservative crybaby.

Hope you all fattened up on the pigskin this weekend.

Kelso's Nuts love you very much.