Merry Christmas, Miss Dowd and Mr. Matthews

Jesus was a dreidel spinner
And this we can't forget
Paul was Saul before he was Paul
and the last supper was a seder

Jesus was a dreidel spinner
And all his disciples were too
So all you Christians remember
Your Lord was a Jew

Would Adam Goldberg, David Schwimmer, Laurence Bender or some -- any! -- famous, young, good-looking Hollywood Jewish dude please hit MoDo with the Hebrew National so we don't go down the Gore 2000 road again and lose an unloseable election with Hillary Clinton versus whomever? Me da mucho asco solo el pensamiento de leer tonterias sobre sus vestidas, sus sonrisas, sus faltas de sonreir, y tal del teclado de la noviciadita Maureen Dowd.

It has been rumored that for a brief period in the late 90s and early aughts, MoDo had abandoned her reflexive love of all things Republican and "masculine" and McCain and "humble-cop-on-the-beat" because, it was said, a very famous Jewish Hollywood star, son of an even more famous Jewish Hollywood star, had hauled MoDo's ashes a few times. Subsequently, the little Catholic prude found her inner progressive and turned the power of her chickenshit, little writing style, with all the radiant glory of her crappy Taste-Y-Cake pop-culture puns toward the Bush Administration and away from the Democrats.

Not so much anymore. Maureen Dowd and her fucking green-wog potato-head comrade on the news side of the Tissue Of Lies, Patrick Healy, have the Senator in the crosshairs.

http://mediamatters.org/items/200712230001?f=s_search

Chris Matthews barely merits that much discussion, but would some dude, shit Ron Jeremy works, put on a curate's vestment and give Chrissy what he so desperately needs? Mike Malloy is absolutely right. There isn't a single commentator in the MSM with more blatant latent man-love than Chris Matthews. And, a word to Ron Jeremy, don't be stingy with the English Leather.

http://mediamatters.org/items/200712180005?f=h_side

(nb: Nuts readers, please read all of the follow-on links)

You all think you're Irish-American and have all that ersatz working-class pride, but Joyce, Parnell, Kennedys past-present-and-future, O'Casey, O'Neill Thomas P "Tip", O'Neill Eugene, O'Neill true hero of 9/11, Moynihan (pere-et-fils), William Marcy Tweed, John L. Sullivan, Gentleman Jim Corbett, "Honest" John Kelly, Quill, Curley, Bulger, Beckett, deValera, Gomez, Devlin Bobby, Devlin Bernadette, Breslin, and when his time comes, that most patriotic of Americans Admiral Fallon, along with a cast of 1,000,000s are or will be waiting for you in Hell. Unless, I miss my guess, the Hellac prosecutors have already prepared a bill of indictments against MoDo, copyboy Healy, and Matthews.

I have no idea whether or not Bill Clinton said that the media were "stenographers for Obama." If he did, he was right. If he didn't, he damned well should have. I have no idea if Senator Clinton's goal is to smother Senator Obama's candidacy in its crib. It, too, damned well should be.

Merry fucking Christmas. A word to the wise: she's a United States Senator. Her name is Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY). Take your "Hillary" and introduce it where that actor's shvantz used to go, and where Ron Jeremy's shvantz will go. It is very likely that Senator Clinton will be President Of The United States. That would make her the #3 hitter in the Democratic Party batting order. If you are lucky and smart enough to back the right pony here, you might get to be ballgirl and bat-boy.

Kelso's Nuts love you