I'm not sure about the maxim but I have a good appetite and the worst of my fever has broken. I'll basically be working straight through Sunday evening, getting my sleep in 2 and 3 hour intervals.
I'll probably be hospitalized when all this is over.
Which I've come to realize might not be such a bad thing. I appreciate your kind words, Z, but I don't really think anyone needs me to do anything but stop writing.
No me necesitan nadie ni pa' nada ni pa' la verga.
At some point before I die, I WILL figure out this blogging jazz. I sure do it poorly. The time is fast approaching for me maybe to switch my tasks with regard to reading and watching stuff about American politics with my partner in the political betting and start watching FOX and maybe continue my blog hejira with a stop on the right-side of the aisle because I gotta tell you, Z, there are just way too many crybabies out there. I expect I'll find the blog-right to be even worse on the crybaby-factor but I know that as few regular contributors as I get, I don't get any crybabies. So, believe me I treasure everyone of you who stops by to comment whether in support or criticism.
I am wondering why I'm doing this, though. I guess it's a diary of sorts. Whether it's of any value as a way for me to maintain intellectual discourse in English, I'm starting to have my doubts.
It has been a nice way to meet new friends over the telegraph wire, but I'm finding myself forever in silly spats over sweet fuck-all that's ultimately irrelevant to me.
I have plenty of intelligent discourse in Spanish whenever I want, so, is English that important? Perhaps, a Spanish-language blog is a better avenue for me. The sports blog turned out to be a terrible idea and a big waste of time,but somehow a Spanish language or bi-lingual blog is the way to go from here. I'll think about it.
And this is not a criticism of ANYONE who's on my link list. Everyone there may consider that they have in Kelso a friend for life.
Sure, all the New Yorkers here and the New Yorkers in spirit get what I'm about but I know I'm missing with too many folks.
There's a right way to blog and a wrong way. I've gone about this all the wrong way. And the problem is that as it is my only obsessive hobby, I just keep compounding the errors.
Nothing good ultimately can come from presenting what I know with a hint of erudition and education because that just comes across as snobbery. To write from the heart doesn't work because when I become passionate about something I think I offend Americans' sensibilities. The humor is way too dark. The language is too foul. If I had some big-time celebrity friends whose exploits I could chronicle maybe that could paper over a lot of sins, but I don't have any unfortunately.
The closest celebrity "friend" I have in the sense that I occasionally hang out with him is Roberto "Arana" Vasquez the former World Flyweight champion and now ranked #7. And he takes his boxing career very seriously. A "meal" for him is one can of Ginger Ale and about 15 cups of ice chips. Not exactly Scott Weiland or Charlie Sheen!.
So, I'm going to try to work out a dumbed-down Kelso's Nuts. Maybe get rid of the Dan Rather and hire the Katie Couric. I'll take any and all suggestions. I'm thinking of doing regular weather stuff. Everybody loves animals so count on lots of heart-warming animal stories. People also like bathos, so I may continue to tell stories about my "brave" "victory" over spinal menengitis.
The nutter No_slappz may have been on to something a few weeks back when he made a derisive remark about the work of playwright Clifford Odets (there I go again!).
Really, I think the best metaphor for my whole blog experience has been the title character's frustratations and fears in movie BARTON FINK, which was loosely based on Odets.
Barton never did write that "wrestling pictcha" after all, did he? Well, blogging is a lot like what I'd imagine writing a Wallace Beery (there I go again) "wrestling pictcha" is like.There's a tried-and-true formula and only an idiot can't follow it. In blogging, you write some palaver that you've read on a major like KOS or HUFFINGTON POST and put up pictures of cuddly animals and children. And then you get the zillion comments. and all the links. Blogging is a pretty crappy thing for an ornery person to do well. Just a question of getting facile with the idiom is all. Whatever the latest news story is you just figure out the "key phrase" and keep repeating it.
I'm not so facile yet, but I am practicing. Heart-warming stories. Cute ethnic-speak. English is bad. Spanish is worse. Keep the skepticism to a minimum and get rid of the cynicism all together. Look, I'm kind of serious about this. I almost got into a challenge bet with friend in which I'd have to watch Fox News for 24 hours straight and keep notes with only bathroom breaks and breaks to get food to be consumed in front of the TV. I was pretty sure I could do it. I'm pretty sure if I set my mind to it, I could write a pretty dopey blog and get about 6x the traffic I have now. The challenge beckons but is that challenge worth giving up a few of my other near term goals: learning Arabic and Hebrew and getting good at golf and bridge? I'm not sure.
I think I've discovered something about blogging that's pretty important. It's a public medium like every other and as such there will be 5% that are great 5% that are awful and 90% that are just mundane. The 95% which are mundane or awful have one essential characteristic in common: they are anti-intellectual. There is one voice which intones the received-wisdom with the most technical proficiency. The commenters generally adopt the Rush Limbaugh caller model with some version of "ditto." Any opinion which deviates on millimeter from "ditto" is suspect. This obtains across the ideological and ethnic spectrum. It stands to reason in a way. If blogger builds up a following, that's generally the result of having parrotted the received wisdom in the most deft way. Anything that deviates is a threat to the blog proprietor and is ignorned or dismissed. There are no "yes, but's..." allowed. And certainly no "I disagree for such and such reason..." What if the skeptic is right? That presents the blogger with a big ego problem.
But what everybody should realize about blogging is that we're not in church. This is a tough medium for tough, smart people who run these things. Well, in a milieu like that how can anyone expect ego not to appear? Poison on a blog is a well-reasoned argument either supporting, modifying or refuting the blogger's premise and cherished ideas. Censorship has become more and more common. Hostility. Threats. And like Jorge Luis Borges said famously about the Falklands War: it amounts to "two bald men fighting over a comb." But ultimately the proprietor has last say. Ultimately, something very bad is going to happen. Some sort of turf war will break out and people might even get hurt physically. It's bound to happen because people are too ready with the insult without having taken the measure of the commenter. At some point, bloggers will be completely balkanized or else there's a way forward where every voice is heard and strong opposition is not only tolerated but encouraged.
I have found the Obama blogs probably the most defensive in this regard and of all things the various engineering departments of most universities to be the least defesive. On your garden variety Obama blog, there's no amount of praise that will suffice. Such a statement as "he's an excellent politician" is met with hostility and often expulsion. Why? Because a man who walks on water cannot be a mere politician. I've had times pre-3/17 speech when I felt like I was in a dictatorship. Nothing even neutral dare be said. It is very difficult to get an explanation of anything even if there's basic stuff you don't know about the man and would like to learn. I believe if Obama is elected president for as long as American troops are there the narrative will be "the surge is working." The right-wing blogs are just a complete mind-fuck. Everybody takes on the persona of either Hannity, Limbaugh, O'Reilly, Savage or Pat Robertson. The so-called bloggers at MSM sites are just plain silly and are out of their league.
A university professor's blog is usually like getting a course for free. I also like people who have blogs about a particular area of interest or hobby. And everybody who has an esoteric job loves to blog about it and answer questions.
For socio-political generalists, I really feel like I've got the best of them blog-rolled already. I doubt there's a link I've got that has problems with skepticism or humor or anything out of the ordinary.
All I know is that my shit's not working. And as I'm not likely to change my personality, I'm not likely to change the style of my blog unless I do some experiment like really go super-Hallmark. So, once again, I come to the cross-roads of whether to abandon it on keep on with it. I used to enjoy fighting a head-wind. I really don't enjoy that anymore.
I don't refer to industry-specific blogs which usually contain one or two pearls in each string. I refer to the amateur political and social critic. Not only must one never question the premises of the others, one often must accept the lack of a serious discussion. To have a serious discussion, the commenter has to have some brains and brains never sell in the USA -- they threaten.
The best bloggers know this and make sure that there's plenty of room for everyone's questions and comments.
I think I'm just maudlin because of my grippe and that this is the weekend I used to go to Atlanta every year with my Dad and now my son is old enough to go. But the whole family's passing it this year. I'll probably keep blogging as the readers grow ever fewer, the spots I get tossed-off grow ever higher until one day I won't do it at all.
Kelso's Nuts love you
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15 comments:
Why do you keep saying you're a failure at blogging? What's a success? Even if you have 5 readers a day, what's wrong with that? Like me, in a flight lounge in Geneva passing the time and very entertained.
My novel was a "failure" and yet it wasn't because I suppose there's at least five people reading it at all times -- and I hear from them on occasion. I think it was Malamud or Bellow, commenting on a novel thought to be a failure with only 5,000 copies sold: just imagine how it would feel if they all filed through your apartment one at a time! In that regard remember once I found a copy of your dad's novel on a shelf at Ventana in Big Sur, and how cool was that? Someone out there is always reading what you wrote, emailing the link around, saying how funny it was. That should be more than enough.
PS Now you have converted me back to Obama, where I should've stayed all along. I doubt you will have your appointment in Samarra with Hillary.
G'sB:
I'm a neurotic Jew. What can I say? I've been up 36 hours straight working and won't be able to stop until Sunday. I also have a touch of the grippe.
Your novel was brilliant, buddy. I think about it all the time, still. I tried you weave your Federal Courthouse men's room scene (with Rick and Sterling washing their hands side-by-side and Rick so desperate to please and the prosecutor just looking at him like another piece of crazy dog-shit) into a piece on fiscal policy but It'll have to wait until I have my desire to do this back again. I've written so much about Israel that I can't help but flash on your beach scene: "Imagine a whole country full of guys like that!"
I remember how boring Switzerland was and I'm glad my blog has given you a lift and a laugh while you're waiting in possibly the most boring part of the most boring place on Earth.
That you would even mention me in the same comment as Bellow or Malamud is a SICK compliment. I'm afraid I'm not even Edgar Lewis Wallant.
That book of my father's had an interesting history. Altman took the option and he and Nick Nolte tried to get it done. Option expired. Then, Bill Schiffren optioned it with Jan-Michael Vincent slated to play Potter and guess who slated to play Tony Baymane? Give that man a cigar, OJ SIMPSON. Option expired.
Yeah, Obama hit a salami all right. But it's all moving against him. I'll be flat with a freeroll on Gore within 7 weeks, I'm sure.
Thanks for the encouragement.
Kelso, first let me thank for you for the long conversation we had yesterday afternoon. It went along way towards helping me "cleanse" myself. I could hear a raspiness in your voice, but I wasn't sure if I was your natural sound or if you were sick until I heard that cough and sneeze.
Dude, as one who considers you a friend please don't stop writing. As my wife told me yesterday about blogging, don't write to elicit comments, but write because you have something to say; write because you're compelled to offer a perspective on a vital issue in an unvarnished, but polished manner.
Yeah, there are lots of touchy-feely blogs out there that skew towards the gooey, sentimental stuff. I count myself among the guilty, but only because that's my M.O. I like telling stories funny, sad, happy, angry -- I run the gamut. But I've come to realize that the reason I joined the blogosphere is because I have something to say.
And so do you. So, please, don't stop saying it. People will read it. I will read it. Just don't stop.
Now get yourself better cabrón. There's work to be done.
Ok. I don't want to insult you by not taking you seriously if you say you are serious. And I understand blogging angst. Remember my post awhile back in which I declared that I just didn't give a fuck and it's my blog and I'll do whatever the fuck I want and don't read if you can't handle cynicism and can't have a discussion with someone who disagrees with you? Yeah, that's how I feel about you. I like my little blog community, but I have my favorites. The ones who are willing to say something that might piss a lot of people off and might lose them some links or traffic. If you have an audience of people you respect, why do you need more traffic from idiots who will only come to look at your cute little animals? No, no, no.
I know how you feel about games and I feel you on the neurotic Jew thing. But PLEASE don't go away and PLEASE don't start some fucking bullshit dopey-ass blog, if you are serious about that (which, no disrespect, I think you're not).
I'm sorry I haven't been commenting as much over here. I've only had time for quick little stupid comments, and I never feel that's appropriate for your posts. You, fairlane, distributorcap - I sometimes have a hard time commenting on your guys' work because I want to have a discussion, but as I've said before, it's not a good medium for that level of discourse.
A lot of bloggers say to this to other bloggers and it's not true, but I do sincerely believe that the blog world needs you. Especially the progressives. You're blog is different than most because of your style, content, and personality - all of which I would miss if it changed.
But, hell. Maybe you're faking Kelso's Nuts. You can't fake smarts like yours, but maybe you really live in Montana and you're a grandma and you like making quilts and have a vegetable garden. Here in blogland, we're only the personas we create.
But I don't think so. Do what you gotta do. Take a break and think about what you want from blogging and what you've been getting. I'm not going to read that dopey-ass cute blog, though. If you're not around on your blog, maybe you'll have some time to email me and let me know what you're thinking. suziriot@gmail.com.
Cuídate and get some rest.
Here's something to cheer you up.
Read the entire story. How typical of Kafka to give no reason for the dismissals.
BN 3/21/2008 5:31: Goldman to Cut Up to 15% of Staff in Capital Markets Unit, N.Y. Post Says
By James Kraus
March 21 (Bloomberg) -- Goldman Sachs Group Inc. plans to dismiss as much as 15 percent of its workforce in the capital markets and related support departments, the New York Post reported, citing unidentified people familiar with the matter.
The reductions are likely to come in the division that includes investment banking, debt and equity underwriting and merger advice, the newspaper said. Employees were first notified about the staff cuts on Monday, the Post reported.
Goldman Sachs London-based spokesman Paul Kafka had no comment to make on the report, when contacted by Bloomberg News today.
--Editor: Malcolm Fried, Zimri Smith
It's all there above - I'm just adding a notch to your comments to cheer you up.
thus is the essence of why i no longer wish to have a blog.
what starts out as simply a cool way to get your thoughts down on "paper" ultimately turns into some kind of bizarre high school popularity contest.
i think you should stop being so maudlin and stop appearing to connive for shouts of "we love you kelso, don't go away."
also, your "there i go again" stuff with regard to what you think is super-high culture is a bit off-putting. just because someone doesn't comment on your luis borges and clifford odets references doesn't mean the readers don't know who who they are. stop insulting your audience.
and quit being a crybaby kelso.
SPARTACUS: It was a pleasure gabbing with you for the first time and I'm sure we'll figure out the Pitt Street thing. It was long ago but the building was red brick naturally was #40,#60, or #80and front entrance faced Guss's, I believe or I could be a block wrong either way. I don't intend to stop.
I had just been up 36 straight hours working with more on the horizon and I'd gotten peeved that someone on another blog used foul language at me (with a veiled threat) in anger and I handle that poorly. I called the person a "gueco" and a "kurvatz" in response because I don't think it's great to curse at someone in anger. My crime: writing long comments. So, you see from what I wrote here I was reflecting anger I should have expresed more forcefully, buu despite how rough it gets over here, I like to have good manners. My friends are free to insult me whenever they like because it's all in fun. When strangers do it, it's creepy.
SUZIRIOT: I am definitely not a little old lady in Montana. Gary'sBoner, Anita, Spartacus, D-CUP, and TorranceStephens have all spoken to me and all will assure you that I have a geniune NY accent.
I was absolutely being Ironic about changing my style.
I also wished I could be in Atlanta right now, maybe with my Dad and Son.
And I have a fever, fatigue, intemittent sinus problems and a general aadness at not being in Atlanta right now. And I have about 36 more hours of work to do.
Also, I think my picture appears on D-CUP's "blog hotties" list.
I will continue to keep things lively so long as I get readers. I was joking around about making a dopey blog. I've always thought I did this pretty well, but I don't think people who know my writing that well can help themselves from getting pissed-off. They want to be the star or at least to hold the star's coat and don't really need an interloper like me.
Still, I agree with you that the progressive blogs need bite -- your crew is giving great big alligator chomps -- and style and some fancy book learnin', too. My problem with getting sworn at in anger for no reason and especially when it comes with a vaguely aggresive kind of thing, is that I get furious and can really hurt peoples' feelings if I'm in that frame of mind, which, luckily I wasn't. You know I don't give out free passes no matter the injustice suffered years back because I never get any. As Ben Folds so aptly put it: "I just came in here to buy some Preparation H."
VERY NICE, G'SB.
O'TIM: Much appreciated.
AXN: I stuck in a Pogues reference for you in my self-pitying palaver. I think I'm within my rights to be a crybaby when I want. I think everything I write is basically at the8th or 9th grade reading level. I cannot help having paid attention in school, though. But you and I are kind of fogeyish about that sort of thing. I assume that most people I'm writing for know who Clifford Odets was, for example.
I don't need anyone to beg me to keep writing but I do like it when people stop by.
And once again into the breach.....
On Obama: everyone is so exercised that he "stayed in that church for 20 years" despite the outrageous stuff he heard. Well, who pays attention to the ridiculous comments of their clergyman anyway? Listening to a sermon is at best like listening to one of the dumber kids in the class trying speech contest, and at worst like listening to an actual retard. Show me a man who doesn't tune out during sermon and I'll show you Ned Flanders. Preposterous.
Anita: it seems you have never gone out with a Jewish man. EVERYTHING has to be a struggle with the forces that underappreciate his greatness The woman, or in this case the blog, is the sounding board for his complaints.
exactly g'boner. and i will bet a whole lotta money that what's said in the white "mega" evangelical churches is equally (if not more) repugnant. the 'outrage' of the likes of buchanan and scarborough for obama having sat through those 'diabolical' sermons it is vomit-worthy in my opinion.
you're wrong g'boner. i've 'known' many a jewish man. kelso's struggle is certainly neither new or nor surprising to me. i just think he's gotta buck up, that's all.
Fucking get better man!
What can I say? That this patch of the digital realm will be be a little less pleasant without you? Well, yeah that's true. If you promise not to go away I will write at least one post about boxing every week. You gave us TWO links you are a driving force in Hell; Americans are just too stupid for their own good.
Fuck fighting the wind. Hannity and O'Reilly have bad breath anyway. Angry old white men who need Viagra suck, in more ways than one. Just speak your mind hermano and like a fart out of Kim Kardashian's ass you'll blow them all away by the magnitude of your depth.
Drink some cheap gin so you can hack the rest of that crap out of your lungs and achieve that evacuation grande of the lower intestine.
Deety loves you.
Hey, getting down in the dumps and being sick is allowed. And who cares about popularity contests? I've written my blog (not well either: I, too, am still learning) and no one read it at all for the longest time. Lately more people are reading. Sometimes that makes me worry. I don't want to argue with people either. I will listen to various viewpoints and consider them. I may agree or not but I am not going to get into a battle with anyone. I have enough of that here at home with republican relatives! Here in good ol' Indiana people do not talk policy or politics and I have always considered myself political. I am maybe extreme left wing or so I've been told. Therefore my blog is my outlet for my pent up political leanings. I am glad that I have found others who also are political and who care to discuss politics. I like reading your blogs. Yes I do! It can be a bit of an obsession. Oh, and I am NOT that smart. I'm sure you've said plenty that's gone over my head. I can admit that without shame. I can't be the smartest person in the universe but I can learn ;D
I am torn as to whether tough love you, or cuddle you. Perhaps both... GET OVER YOUR SELF! What the fuck! You blog, therefore you ARE! Just do YOU. Nothing else matters. You like this medium. You have a strong voice, you are witty and relevent. You are sexy and cool and hip and whatever angst is up your butt so what. We all have our shit.
People dig your brand of rant...I do! And as I just learned from my blog, so many folks lurk and never post unless they feel compelled by some freakish thing that catches their attention. But no matter. Blog because you LOVE it. Blog because you feel connected to a community of folks who have some of the same ramblings on their mind. This is passionate work. Sure some of it is mundane...dull even. But your not in that crowd.
So have a shot of tequila on me...if I was there perhaps something more could happen...but that's my own fantasy and you don't get to comment or post on that.
In the mean time get well, be well and cut the self absorbed bullshit--and I mean that in the best possible way!
Love you!
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