You Cannot Shill An Honest Jill

With apologies to Mike "The Streets" Skinner, of course.

But as "Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute," proudly servicing the Quad Cities area of Moline, Rock Island, Davenport and Bettendorf, is one of my favorite comedy bits of all time, and Tommy-Gun did promise to write about boxing on the regular should I not abandon my post, I'm channelling my inner Fred Garvin and calling in the marker of the once and future pride of the Quad Cities, Diane Tomlinson, herself.

As I suggested in the last post, I'd like little something about CALZAGHE v HOPKINS, the sudden depth of the Super-Middleweight division, with maybe some remarks about what's happening in the surrounding weights, as in could Taylor put on enought weight to take on Jones or Tarver. Or maybe save that one for next time, as in whither Jones and Tarver.

I was back to my old self again and I think I managed to find something with which to needle everyone in the last post. I think I covered the waterfront from Malcolm X to Camilo Villegas and back. I forgot to put the dirty works to Lieberman, however, but I do that enough just to stay in practice, anyway.

Now, I'll find a nice little atheist/agnostic ditty by selfsame Mr. Skinner about fathers and sons in tribute to Papa Gunslinger and Kelso-pere. Anytime in April or May works for me, 'slinger. Alas, I sense the malign hands of Bill "The Toad" Gates, David "El Gueco De Mariscos" Geffen and the bad folks at Google in all this as "We Never Went To Church" by The Streets absolutely refuses to post although everything's in order. Anyway, check it out. Here are the specs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUi-ATRnMwI

Why Gates? Because he was a generous donator to Jesse Helms's campaign against Harvey Gantt. Connect the dots. Maybe it's not only filthy lucre but also a case of today being BLOGSWARM AGAINST THEOCRACY DAY and everybody knows Kelso's Nuts loves that day. A lot. Please make sure to visit fine bloggers who lead on this. I have links to Jonestown, BAC and HELL (Editorials from Hell's Leading Daily Newspaper) on my roll. And as an olive branch to my good friends who DO happen to like the supernatural, I again quote ex-Seattle Pilot and Oakland Athletic outfielder of the 1960s and 70s, Steve Hovley: "Religion is like baseball. Great game. Terrible owners."

Turns out embedding still works for me, so here's the father/son Streets video. Please spare me any bullshit about Skinner needing Babyface to produce him. I get it. Lou Reed always had a shitty voice, too. That doesn't mean ni la verga.



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And, 'slinger, I'm making the price 6" over-135 on phone calls from the taxi to reach the confluence of Paitilla, Obarrio, San Francisco and Punta Pacifica. I writing this price absolutely inviting action. The big Omaha has played short-handed recently. Our mutual friend from Southern California has thrown the rule book out the window, kept his stacks sloppy and has killed the game recently. Remember. If you like the "texture" of the flop....and so on. I'm about to call Donn, to get in the ABL now, btw.

UPDATE: GUNSLINGER, I can't say I minded you not playing this year but Donn's draft played super-hard anyway. My longshots (vis-a-vis their perceptions) Shields and Sonnastine went in 5th and 10th rounds, respectively. Just glad that 1040s got neither! I believe he's still the only Republican in the league. And someday when Abou and my team's namesake and I can go down your bend in the river together, I'll want old 1040 there ready to argue "the surge is working" with 3 generations of Kelsos simultaneously after 1040 has put a bourbon or 15 into himself. I guess if Obama's president, 1040 wil be "anti-surge." Ahh, Republicans....

You have any interesting NCAA (men's and women's) and/or NIT opinions?

This is what Julian's Boys (tm) ended up looking like:

C-R Hernandez (BAL)
1B-R Sexson (SEA)
2B-P Polanco (DET)
SS-D Jeter (Rudy Giuliani's Girls)
3B-G Atkins (COL)
CNR-T Glaus (STL)
MI-M Ellis (OAK)
OF-M Holliday (COL)
OF-C Beltran (Mets)
OF-J Willingham (FLA)
OF-J Cust (OAK)
OF-D DeJesus (KC)

SP-R Oswalt (HOU)
SP-J Lackey (LAA)
SP-Chien-Ming Wang (Rudy Giuliani's Girls)
SP-M Buehrle (CHW)
SP-C Villanueva (MIL)
RP-M Corpas (COL) how could i not make el panameno my main closer?
RP-R Soriano (ATL)
RP-Brian Wilson (SF)

R-3B E Longoria (TB) I'll trade Glaus and somebody to one of "Donn's stooges" at some point
R-SP C Capuano (MIL)
R-1B B Broussard (TEX)

Typical Kelso team. Lots of pop. Good starters, three closers and no speed. It was tuff over the telegraph wire today, buddy. Max Factor picked first and did a shitty job of it. And delayed the whole thing as usual by about an hour. But the way I look at it, an extra hour the lot of us spend doing ABL is kind of like an extra hour of putting the boot in to oppressed minorities by pure dead reckoning.

I suppose if I wrote up the story of the Yom Kippur bust and the Black tranny and Donn and the tranny's family and the funeral, I'd give away the game, but I sometimes like to feel like "the oppressor." LOL. I mean, "HEH-HEH, Smithers."

Kelso's Nuts love you