Another average day "in the sac". Kelso's slightly cranky because he didn't jerk-off this morning in anticipation of an in-home massage at his summer place. Unfortunately, $120 did not include anything beyond a nice 1-hour of deep tissue massage. The masseuse did not offer the business, and Kelso was too much of a gentleman to ask.

Bright spot of the day was yet another 'tater from Kelso's boy at camp. With three days left, I don't think he can get caught for the HR title. As Kelso did had neither the will nor the wallet to get his son into any private school, public school beckons in the fall and a baseball scholarship is more likely if he can work his magic agains Christ The King or Boys & Girls as opposed to Dalton or Collegiate.

I've promised a "left-libertarian" site and so far it's been mostly left, so let's take a little swing to the right, shall we? On taxes, Kelso's Nuts thinks we're all overtaxed and get nothing back for them. His proposition: END THE VILE WARS, FEED CLOTHE, HOUSE, EDUCATE AND TREAT ALL AMERICANS, and use the appropriations that would have gone off-budget to the "struggles against terrorism" to finance it. Let the DOD have what it fucking wants. While we're at it, let's end the Alternative Minimum Tax, the tax on worldwide income, and cut taxes across the board. Moreover, Kelso has no problem with the cracker interpretation of the 2nd Amendment. He believes crackers may own as many guns as they can get their hands on. Kelso himself CHOOSES not to own one because he believe that the chances of a darkie coming into his home and killing his family has about the same probability as that of a giant Pterodactyl coming down from the sky an carrying Kelso and his nuts off. Then again, Kelso did enjoy shooting rabbits in southern New Mexico as a boy and really ought to re-sharpen his skills. Don't want to be unprepared when Lodz II happens, you know?

Kelso and the entire Kelso's Nuts Army know how much the mainstream loves compromise, so here's Kelso's cffer: the law tells him he has have the right but not the obligation to buy a gun. He CHOOSES NOT TO. The law guanrantees a woman's right to an abortion. Don't want one? Don't fucking have one! Kelso's happy without any firearms at all.

And now -- once again -- into the deep end of the pool. Kelso has nothing but unbridled contempt for the Dr Martin Luther King, Jr wannabes who defeated the slot-machine bill in Maryland which would have saved the thoroughbred industry in Maryland. A beautiful coalition: White Christian Crazies and Jack-Leg (ahem) African-American state reps responding to their church constituencies. For all of you White liberals out there, how do you think the Maryland Black Baptist community feels about Gay Marriage? Think real hard, now. Better decide which side you're on; Deacon Washington ain't on your side.

But we all know the dirty little secret there, don't we? Let's just say it has to do with prison and a rite of passage that the "community" doesn't want to recognize.

Too bad for them. I recommend generic Vasotec and obeying the law.

I have a spirited argument on the other side that tears Ted Koppel a new one, so just accept that Kelso is a normal racist like every other personal in the world -- not Anti-African-American (thoroughly anti Condi, Clarence, Colin, and Ken Blackwell, though).

Sports and links to come. Kelso's Nuts promises.

Never forget. We're all brothers under the skin and Kelso's Nuts loves you.