As promised, here are Kelso's Nutty opinions on the Haskell Invitational at Monmouth Park, Race 12.

He likes PALLADIO at 10/1 as a win bet and will be using PARK AVENUE BALL, ROMAN RULER, SUN KING and CHEKHOV in exactas and trifectas with PALLADIO.

NY Times Week In Review just as boring as Kelso feared. David Brooks's "The Virtue Of Virtues" really took the cake. If he weren't so dedicated to his son's love of baseball, he'd be on Kelso's enemies list for sure. Somewhere, lost in Brooks's pablum, however, was the contribution that his good friend William Bennett's THE BOOK OF VIRTUES made to this overall climate of wonderfulness. Why is that? And where are those super-predators Bennett warned us about?

Crime keeps going down and Kelso believes that puts paid to the Giuliani theory of sainthood.

Two questions for everybody out there in the blogosphere?

(1) Ms. Kelso has informed Kelso that John Roberts once defended a gay and lesbian class action on the side of the gays and lesbians. Kelso has not seen this on Yahoo news, but if so, it certainly makes Roberts a little more tolerable and confirms the Kelso theory that THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT BUSH WILL ALLOW ROE V WADE TO BE OVERTURNED. If it's overturned, there will be a mass exodus of the Upper Middle Class and a tax protest by everyone else to make the Boston Tea Party look like a tea party. So, is it true that Roberts is a human being?

(2) Kelso is a sports and horse bettor first but as he is too young to have caught either the Gin Rummy or Backgammon boom, he has vowed NOT to miss the poker boom. To this end, he has thrown himself into the deep end and has been playing Texas Hold 'Em club games and in Las Vegas at the 2-5, 5-5 and 5-10 NO LIMIT LEVEL. Kelso has been a good winner so far, but has some serious holes in his game. One is this: as Kelso is a very aggressive player who likes to play a lot of hands and sprinkle bluffs and semi-bluffs regularly, at least once a session, he gets trapped on a semi-bluff (say a middling two-pair against a set) with outs as the player with the set smooth-calls Kelso, never raising, thus never allowing Kelso to get off his move. Any clever advice beyond the obvious? How does one know when to abandon move? And is there any way to punish the smooth-caller without sacrificing good money when Kelso has the Nuts?

Thank you. Kelso's Nuts loves you.