Kelso feels that it's time to continue our little "Rap On Race" (with apologies to James Baldwin and Margaret Mead). Kelso buys into the argument that it's "society's fault," that a country built on slavery and on the backs of slaves is reaping the whirlwind.

That said, any Baptist minister of any skin tone who tries to interfere with Kelso's happiness, sense of fair play or livelihood has to hear it. So, let's revisit the arcane issue of the Maryland Racetrack Slots bill. The (ahem) inner-city preachers who seem to have no problem with Phillip Morris or Anheuser-Busch in their neighborhoods, have a problem with slot machines at three sites: Laurel, Pimlico and Timonium Fair. This would have saved racing in Maryland which probably has the largest percentage of successful African-American trainers and owners in the country.

And the preachers seem to hate gay people and join with the Bush Crime Family in opposition to the right of two people to get married. Kelso wants it explained by these ersatz Dr. Kings just what exactly is wrong with two people of the same gender getting married. AND PUT THAT SCRIPTURE DOWN--THAT'S NOT AN EXPLANATION, THAT'S A BOOK OF FICTION.

So, going forward when you hear an (ahem) inner-city preacher railing against this stuff, don't think Dr. King or Rev. Abernathy, think Alan Keyes and Reggie White.

While we're on the subject, Kelso is reminded of two revolting racists in our midst.


When Wind, Koon, Powell and Briseno were convicted of crimes related to the Rodney King incident, Ted Koppel used his Nightline platform to ponder whether the punishment really fit the crime and what the criminal justice system is really for. Is it fair Ted, scratched his chin and wondered, "that 5 years of sexual bondage is the proper punishment for car theft?" Interesting, Ted. Where the hell were you when the heinous "war on drugs" was initiated? Cheering it the fuck on, that's where. But when four white racist cops are facing the same time and torture, now it's a problem. I was younger and naive, but I should have expected nothing less from Henry Kissinger's best bud.

Mike Malloy noted the other night that the leaf hasn't fallen far from the bough. Andrea Koppel, apparently, did a nice bit of flack work for the Republican party over the Bolton nomination. Good on you, Andrea. You ain't getting a job in Jeb's White House though; Karen Hughes will kick your ass.

Now, on to the ol' Walrus himself (no, not John Bolton), Thomas Friedman. What exactly did you mean by black America having to "get with the program" after 9/11? And if you can revisit that column for me and explain what the OJ verdict had to do with 9/11, please do so.

Looks like the Red Sox are about 70%/30% from here to beat Rudy Giuliani's Girls for first place in the AL East. The non-trade of Ramirez was very, very helpful here. By the way, Ramirez brings up an interesting trivia question. How many native New Yorkers play major league baseball right now? Kelso can think of Manny, Matt Morris, Jason Marquis, John Franco, John Halama, and Ronnie Belliard.

Mrs. Kelso has her own nuts in a twist because she hasn't appeared here yet. Let's put that to rest right now. Hi Honey!

Kelso's Nuts love you very much.