Kelso did his Floppers wrong today and he doesn't mean that the spammers hit. He let Mrs. Kelso censor a posting about an acquaintance of Kelso's who really deserves to get his ass kicked. He is a rich kid of no apparent accomplishment who was unncessarily unkind to Kelso. This -- and Kelso uses the word advisedly -- "fella" has an Eagle's mouth and a Hummingbird's ass, but he happens to be rich and famous and Kelso let Mrs. Kelso talk Kelso into not taking him down in print. He's a bully and a putz. But never has to hear it because of his social status. No pasara. Never happen again. Kelso promises. Kelso made himself into the henpecked putz and he hates himself for it.

Kelso will NEVER PUT HIS NUTS IN HIS WIFE'S PURSE AGAIN.

The long-awaited Selena Roberts piece is in the work and will show up soon. Props to The King Of The Golden Rhombus who agrees to disagree with Kelso about Ms. Roberts' ability or lack thereof for hipping Kelso to the serialization of Ms. Roberts' Bilie Jean King/Bobby Riggs book in The Tissue Of Lies Sunday Sports section along with its trashing in the Book Review.

Just as a little preview, Kelso thinks that Selena Roberts is a pale (dark) imitator of a very bad stylist (Maureen Dowd) and doesn't deserve all the inches (heh-heh) she's getting in the Tissue Of Lies Sports Section. Kelso can recall a piece by her that referred to Brad Bitt, Jennifer Aniston, Puff Daddy, Tom Cruise, John Kerry, Manolo Blahniks, and George Bush before it got...five paragraphs down...to the subject of the piece, Yankees' pitcher Kevin Brown. Man, that's good writin'.

Usually we start with politics and end with sports. Tonight, we flip the script, and acknowledge that Pat Robertson has been made to apologize for his remarks advocating the assassination of a democratically-elected president of a capitalist republic. Still and all, Kelso is concerned that his long-time friend The Arapahoe Squaw and her man make sure it's safe to go to Northern South America before making their trek. Stay safe, guys. These people are monsters.

Kelso's Nuts loves you all.