Nothing terribly special to report from the Nutsville. The issue of Kelso's Nuts has extended an insurmountable lead in Home Runs in his day camp. Kelso got demolished playing on-line hold 'em, but won betting horses. And oh yeah, Bolton got "recess appointed." The Chinese bowed out of their Unocal bid. Boy am I going to sleep better knowing that the inscrutable Fu Manchu won't be coming for Kelso's Nuts's boy in the middle of the night! Phew! If I were a Unocal shareholder, I might be pretty cheesed off. But, there I go again, thinking that the USA is a capitalist country and keep forgetting that it is a fascist/corporatist state. Silly me.

As for Bolton, everybody in the world, except for the administration and the mainstream media including ol' liberal CNN, knows he's shit on rye toast, but there he his. I find myself strangely admiring all of this. The Bush adminsitration with its Lavender Hill Mob: Rove, McLellan, Mehlman, Santorum, Jeff Gannon or Guckert or whatever, certainly know how to do one thing both politically and metaphorically and in the baid-room: DELIVER A STRAIGHT-UP SERIOUS ASS-FUCKING! And they never stop. And never admit defeat. Howard Dean, where are you now that we need you most? You've got to stop this wretched Hillary Clinton in her tracks. How many more dead? 40,000 USA, 1,000,000 Iraqis? A promise: the fruit of Kelso's Nuts -- 5 1-2 years old with a super future ahead of him -- WILL NOT FIGHT IN THE "STRUGGLE". And he can say the Pledge of Allegiance backwards and forwards unlike about every Republican in the world. He's got a shot at an academic/athletic scholarship if he stays on the straight and narrow, so I'm just going to let King G W and King Abdullah do a little wrist wrestling to settle this thing. Leave my child out of it, thanks.

On to more provocative topics. I don't think Rudy Giuliani's Girls can catch the Red Sox in the AL East but at +1.44/1, it's kind of tempting to hedge my BoSox play out. Will run the numbers tomorrow when I do the golf.

Now, where gambling and politics converge, what's in the water in Arizona? Depleted Uran ium? Why does Senator Kyl have such a hard-on (well, with 100 viagra and an air pump) for off-shore and on-line betting? Whom does it hurt? Isn't it the ultimate in free-market pricing? As for McCain ("A Profile In Courage") why do you have a 100 viagra and air-pump schvantz for baseball and boxing. In my entire life, I've never enjoyed a single word you've ever said, and I can say categorically, I've pretty much enjoyed EVERY baseball game and every boxing match I've ever seen. What does The Lavender Hill Mob Have On You, Boy?

Looking forward to more sunny days, more great lays, seeing "The Aristocrats" and watching the product of Kelso's Nuts collect his HR crown.

Thank you.

Never forget. Kelso's Nuts loves you.