New York Times Week In Review looks too boring to bear, so Kelso's going to discuss one of his favorite subjects, Hillary Clinton, in the context of her repulsive politics and chances of winning 2008 presidency.

Politics first. Kelso cannot find a single issue upon which he and Sister Frigidaire agree.

THE WARS: Hillary FOR; Kelso AGAINST
DRUGS (PRESCRIPTION): Hillary IN THRALL TO BIG PHARMA; Kelso NATIONAL HEALTH CARE
DRUGS (RECREATIONAL): Hillary "LOCK 'EM UP"; Kelso "legalize them"
DEATH PENALTY: Hillary FOR; Kelso AGAINST
ABORTION: Hillary FOR WITH MANY RESTRICTIONS; Kelso NO RESTRICTIONS AND FREE
TAXES: Hillary HIGH TAXES; Kelso LOW TAXES
FINANCIAL REGULATION: Hillary MUCH REGULATION; Kelso CAVEAT EMPTOR
ENVIRONMENTAL REGULATION: Hillary SELL-OUT; Kelso ONE EARTH
RELIGION: Hillary FAKING IT; Kelso UNAPOLOGETIC ATHEIST
UNIONS: Hillary DLC POSITION; Kelso UNFETTERED RIGHT TO ORGANIZE
PATRIOT ACTS I & II: Hillary SOLIDLY FOR; Kelso SOLIDLY AGAINST...and of course the signature issue...
HEALTH CARE: Hillary HUGE GIVE AWAY TO INSURANCE AND PHARMA WITH MANY EXTRA LAW-ENFORCEMENT FEATURES; Kelso SINGLE-PAYER, NO APOLOGIES

Now, why again should Kelso be voting for Hillary Clinton instead of George Allen or Jeb Bush? This lesser-of-two-evils shit has to go. Mike Malloy calls Bill Clinton "the best Republican president we've ever had." Kelso thinks Hillary has a pretty good chance to be the WORST Republican president we've ever had.

Again, Kelso doesn't see how the fake conservative is going to beat the real conservative, but Hillary is about even money with the bookies to win the Democratic nomination, a little smaller in the futures market at tradesports.com. Kelso thinks that any of Allen, Jeb or Mark Sanford (Governor of South Carolina) will clean her clock, unless this Valerie Plame thing really blows up in the administration's face or if Roe v. Wade is over-turned. The latter, however, is a subject for another day.

Back to the betting...There is an arbitrage out there. Republican Party is roughly +$1.08 in the futures market and Democratic Party is EVEN with bookies. A free 4% for the interested student.

After having scooped up the arb, Kelso will turn his attention to the ideology. Only Democratic contenders Kelso can stomach are Corzine, Feingold and Vilsack. At least they'll put up a fight. None have a chance against the Hillary money-machine unless Corzine wants to self-finance. Other possibility is that Dean just says "fuck it!" and takes a crack at it himself. He could probably be a match for Hillary in fundraising.

In case nobody's figured it out yet, Kelso LIKES the horse-race style coverage of politics, because the "issues" coverage is so one-sided. Few things make Kelso sicker than self-appointed deans of journalism decrying "horse-race coverage," while flacking for Bush administration.

And, finally, on to real horse-racing. A fan of the blog has requested an opinion on today's Haskell Invitational at Monmouth Park today. The Dude Abides as always but will not be ready to present it until about 11 AM Eastern. Sorry for the wait. Family matters.

Though he doesn't much care for Hillary Clinton, Kelso's Nuts loves you all very much.